Monday, November 30, 2009

Walk'n on solid ground

Boy howdy, what a beautiful day to be "do'n nuttin". Old Billy Bob wake up this morning feel'n like a brand spank'n new dollar bill.....not worth much but nice and crisp. I see all that dark out there and says, "what da hell ya do'n now"??? Bout that time, Lug Nut done see something he just gots to chase, so's I rolled out, let him out and he "gone". Sadie only 5 seconds behind.

Made me up a pot of coffee what I was able to get down a couple cups, slaped together some oatmeal with raisins what I got half that down. Then I got to think'n, Billy Bob, you almost well again. Just take it easy today and all will be just fine....so that what I been do'n.

Went outside to sit on "da porch" but the sun were so bright I had to let the awning out. What I did. But it don't go all the way out......hmmmmmm, what if'n I take that leg loose and make a turn...both ends of course....sheesh, I ain't dumb ya know. Yep, that done the trick. Just like pay'n a hunerd dollar to have it done by a professional. Billy Bob fix stuff ya know.....for free.

Got some military jets fly'n over the bombing range today, but I ain't hear nuttin blow up. I'm think'n that Obama feller has something to do with it....you know, cut costs so we can spend a trillion dollar on his health crap program. The guy is nuts I'm tell'n ya....nuts.

Speak'n of health care, who gonna take care of old Billy Bob when there ain't no more insurance? I pay'ed 40 years for the Medicare program and now they want that money to pay for another government program plus they gonna raise my rates to boot. It ain't right I tell ya, it ain't right. And did ya know, ya got to furnish your own propane or a cord of wood to be cremated?

I think I need a nap.....done piss myself plumb off.

I were look'n at the weather thingy this morn'n and Holy cows, Billy Bob the only one what ain't freez'n. Deming were 31 degs, Terlingua were something like 27 degs....but it were only 52 degs at the slabs. LOLOLOL....hahahaha.....love it!!! Ah....it only 82 degs right now.

Did I tell ya bout my solar oven with the brand spank'n new polished aluminum diamond plate reflectors what I pait $47 for???? Well the suckers don't work worth a flip. Them little diamond thingys send solar rays in every direction but the right direction. But wait, old Billy Bob can fix that. Go get a can of aluminum polish an shine up the other "flat" side. What ya think????

Now, before anyone suggests I cover the reflectors with tin foil....hehehehe River.....I fount my metal polish, broke out my little random orbital sander, throwed a paper towel on the bottom and applied a generous gob of polish....walla, that works. In the Navy, we had to shine out aluminum lockers mirror finish, so I got's experience.

Boy howdy do my brand spank'n new solar powered yard light look good out there shin'n on Fred and that damn cat. Thank ya Santer Cause.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Day three and still alive

Boy howdy, old Billy Bob feel'n better this morning. Think'n I'm gonna try a cup'o and see what happens. Hell, I thought I were gonna die out here in the middle of nowhere. Now I'm gonna just sit here and take it easy. Get down a cup of "mellow" coffee and see what gonna happen. Maybe eat up a scrambled egg......anything....I'm starved.

Did ya ever see a boy what ain't right? Boy howdy let me tell ya bout this little feller out here. He one them kind ya just want to "smak" right cross the head. But he got a daddy...be a big feller. This boy tell people "shut up", "git off my land", "keep yer dog over there" (speak'n of Lug Nut) and he run around like a little monkey. Yeah a monkey. Hope to hell he go to school tomorrow. Remind me of one my grandkids, Nick.

I don't drink no stink'n tequila. I don't drink no stink'n whiskey. An I ain't drunk no stink'n rum. But I did change my underwear just in case. Remind me the time I went to the hospital when I had one them heart attacks.....wooo howdy, were I in need of clean shorts. Just thought ya should know that. Listen to yer moma when she tell ya bout clean shorts.

Now I got a cup'o down, brewed me up two scrambled eggs what I eat most of with no ill effects. Wonder maybe if'n I should brew up a big pot of chicken, taters 'n noodles for the rest of the day.
Sounds good to me.

Holy cows, did ya see the weather in Deming? Poor old pesky neighbor Wayne gonna be get'n some snow. Sure glad I didn't wait another week or I would be right slap in the middle of a blizzard. Freez'n cold, burn'n up a ton of propane, can't play golf, lay'n on da couch watch'n tv and miserable as a duck with no water.

Now I gonna go sit outside and soak up some that warming sunshine.

Well, it weren't only Billy Bob what got sick. Other than myself, two others had the stomach rumbles. I tend to agree with the idea of possible food poison'n, but ya know, I ain't no doctor. With all the "stuff" I cook and eat, there ain't no way I can blame any kind sickness on me. Had a be the turkey 'cause turkeys eat poop....right???

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Turkey hangover

Have ya even been so sick what ya thought you was gonna die? Yesterday reminded me of one them 60's Woodstock hangovers. Couldn't even keep water down....boy howdy are I sick.

Freak'n wind come up last night. That awning was a danc'n to the beat of someone down the road play'n some loud music. Now, here's old Billy Bob, out there in the cold (58 degs) fight'n with an awning what don't wanna go up. Ten minutes later and I were back inside barf'n up my guts one more time.

Today ain't look'n too good. Started out with some nice sunshine, but now there a big ol' cloud out there and the wind is cold. Well shoot, no wonder, the weather thingy says only 61 degs today. Old Billy Bob ain't gonna be out there play'n today. Move over Lug Nut, that my couch.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Knaw'n on a turkey leg

Boy howdy, would ya lookie at that sunshine in my front winder. I waked up at 5am think'n it were time to get up, but it weren't. Rolled out right bout 7am with the sun just com'n up. Sheesh....the days are only from 7am till 4:30pm. That ain't right. I were ready to hit the sack last night at 7pm, but knowed I would have to sleep for 12 hours just to see the sunshine again.

Ok, here's the deal. Old Billy Bob got to make some changes. Gonna have to change direction on "Sally da house" so's the solar panels are look'n at the sun. Yeah....that what I gonna do right now....in a few minutes after I get that other eye open. My batteries are low this morning cause I didn't conserve yesterday. Ain't like it were in Deming hooked up to 24 hour hi voltage power supply.

Old Billy Bob won't be mak'n no yams this year. Seems the little girl next door gonna make 'em this time. That's Chili Bob's granddaughter from COLD Colorado. They headed back that way this week end.....back to work. At least someone has a job!!!

Well, that was easy. Moved "Sally da house", "that jeep", satellite dish, solar oven and Fred "da duck". Got back online just like that. Solar panels are happy now and Lug Nut just come home to check up on me. He's a good dog!!!

Now I gotta set up camp. Put the brand spank'n new awning out, figger out where to plant the flag pole and make me a "sit'n" place. Boy howdy, I can hardly wait.

Guess I need to jump in "that jeep" and go look'n for OGT. He's lost I'm tell'n ya....lost.
Well, that didn't work.....the guy is lost I'm tell'n ya. My freak'n awning springs are too tight....won't roll all the way out....damn!!! Now how ya gonna "fix" that Billy Bob??? "I don't know that I will fix it".

Weren't no time at all and here come OGT right up to my front door. Seems he was go'n that way while at the same time I were go'n tuther way.

Now it's time for to gobble some turkey and stuff.

Yum Yum eat'em up!!!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I call'em on da phone

That big ol' cover fall off on the floor last night and I didn't even care. Now that what I talk'n bout. If'n I was to tell ya the temp this morn'n, ya would be turn'n shades of green with envy. It were 61 degs...lololol....61 degs.....hahahaha. Are ya green yet???

Have ya ever been so angry/mad/pissed that ya want to squeeze a grape or bite a bolt in two? That what I been all morn'n try'n to get online with this damn satellite. I call up on da phone one them "silly language" talk'n technical support people over there in India and he was tell'n me all kind of stuff and I were...."ah, yeah....uh huh...ok....what ever...etc, etc, etc". I can't understand a f'n work he were say'n. Anyhows, they gonna call me in 2 or 3 days ....LOLOLOLOL....hahahahaha....right! So's here goes old Billy Bob tak'n stuff apart again, swak'n stuff with a wrench, push'n buttons and chang'n configgeration files. Hmmmmm, what this....force range???? Why not, nuttin else works. Walla, up pops the internet, just like that. Now I ain't gonna turn it off for nuttin. Probably run my batteries down so far I have to flic a bic to see if a light bulb is on.

Put the solar oven out this morning just to see it it still works. Well shoot, now what wrong? Two hours and only 250 degs. Then I got really sick, so I took a nap. Woke up and it were still 250 degs. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob???

Boy howdy is Lug Nut in hog heaven. He been off all day play'n with all the other dogs, pee'n on every tire in camp, visit'n the neighbors dig'n holes and hav'n a blast. All the while, little Sadie Mae just sits lays under my chair think'n I'm gonna leave her here with all these strange people.

Two of the local "limpies" got in a hissy fit the other day over how to prepare garlic. One smashed it while the other chopped it. I would'a pay admission to see that hissy fit. I miss all the fun activities.

Hot??? You can bet your bippy it's hot. My t-meter says it's 97 degs, but it's in the sunshine. Weather thingy says it 78 degs. All I knose is, it's hot.

That OGT feller is supposed to be on his way to the slabs, but I ain't see him yet.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

at da slabs

Boy howdy, it were just like go'n home after a vacation when I drove up in the driveway. Although I did move into the elite district after spend'n last winter in "da slums". Someone done camped out in the space I was a want'n, but this one will do till something better come along.

Yee God it were cold when I woke up this morning. I were 240 miles from the slabs, so don't go get'n any ideas that it's cold here. I figgered it would be like 40 degs or something like that, but it were 29 right bout the time the sun woke up. Ya know that me and da sun wakes up together, right???

First thing I done was to break out the internet satellite thingy and start point'n it at...what else, a satellite. Now what the hell's wrong this thing? Holy crap, I'm gonna be without the most important thing...internet. Hold on, if'n old Billy Bob can fix a flat tire, he can fix this thing. Break out some tools and take it apart!!! LOLOLOL....hahaha...yeah right. Anyhows, with both laptops run'n and push'n buttons, I finally got'er up an run'n on da internet. Trade secret so don't even ask.

Ol' Lug Nut knowed right where he were at when he jump out "da house". He were "gone"....just like that. He DID happen to come back a few times to check if'n I was still cuss'n and rais'n a fit. Old folk do that ya know. Lug Nut is a good dog. Crazy dog!!!

Not gonna even try to post a pic tonight....shoot, most ya already in bed. So's, old Billy Bob gonna be talkl'n to ya tomorrow.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Oh Crap...pain

Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob??

Woke up at 2am with these pains and ain't been back asleep since. Remember what I was tell'n ya bout pain what ain't sposed to be there? I ain't no spring chicken ya know, so when I have something like this pop up, I get's concerned/skeered.

I may not get out of here as predicted since I still have some stuff to do. Stuff that can only be done on a work week day. Pay a couple bills. But if'n ya look at it from an old retired farts viewpoint, it don't really matter.

Let me tell ya bout Walmart. I think Walmart is fall'n apart, management wise. I were in a hurry last night to replace my broke water jug and pick up a few other items. Well, there were no carts. They was all in da park'n lot. I spied one with a couple items in it and while the lady was off look'n at stuff, I snatched her cart. I know..... it's not the right thing to do, but old Billy Bob were in a rush. Had it happen to me many time. Now I'm even. Got all my stuff and headed to the front of the store. Grrrrrr.....only 2 lines open, both with a qazillion people waiting patiently. In the rush, the freak'n checker lady lost one my bags....it's her responsibility to spin the bag thingy and make sure the customer get ALL their bags. She had an attitude to start with. You would think they would be proud to be work'n at Walmart. But no, all they want to do is run ya through like a herd of cows and head for the break room and stuff their face with twinkies.

Anyhows, I don't feel good this morning. The above pains are in my chest. They either from work'n too hard, swing'n a golf ball swak'n stick too hard or I gonna die. But then again, it could be from all the excitement of go'n to "da slabs".
Boy howdy, look at the weather map and it gonna be just like summer in southern Ca. Day time temps in the upper 70's with lows in the upper 50's. Compared to Deming....highs in the low to mid 60's and lows in the upper 20's to low 30's. And a brand spank'n new cold front due here tomorrow.

Ok...7am. Gots stuff to do. Will make one more post before I pull out.

8:30am....everything right back on schedule just like I was plan'n, all them chest pains are off look'n for another place to pop up, but I ain't gonna leave till bout 10am. Still a little nippy out there. And I gots to eat something fore I take off. Damn, I hate to eat all the time. Seems a complete waste of time. How bout a big ol' fried balony and egg sandwich??? Sounds good to me.

Ok...gonna tear down my satellite dish. Catch ya somewhere's down the road.
"On the road again" (Wally)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

One more day to departure

Up a little early this morn'n. Had'a pee really bad and the dogs wanted out. Seen a couple coyotes out there in Lug Nuts hunt'n grounds, but he stayed close to home this morning. Came back in after he watered the tires on "da jeep" and a couple big rocks....right back to bed.

Well, since I didn't get nuttin done yesterday, my "lay back" day today has been shot to hell. I'm think'n I need to find me a travel companion, not for the travel, but to help do all this "stuff" what gotta be done. Did I ever tell ya bout Vickie Lynn??? Boy howdy could that little girl do stuff. Never once did I go down the road with a dirty windshield like I do now. Too bad I couldn't afford her "smoke" and vodka.

Well here's yesterdays work list. Maybe I'll get 'er all done today.

[X] 1. Clean off the table...that mean put stuff where it go
[] 2. Put all that old mail in a box what is lay'n on the bedroom floor
[X] 3. Drain and fill da water tank with 40 gallon fresh water
[X] 4. Put propane tank and hose in "da jeep".....refill Monday morning
[] 5. Roll up da yard water hose
[X] 6. Clean "da porch"....right!!!...when I says clean, I don't mean "clean".
[] 7. Find a place for the da golf bag....where???
[] 8. Check running lights on "Sally da house"
[X] 9. Install air cleaner what is lay'n on da ground...that sucker don't fit...try again
[X] 10. Pick up meds and a few "eat'em ups" from Walmart
[] 11. Take a nap
[XXXXXX] 12. Take a much needed break....lol, love this one

Well, all go'n pretty good this morning. Had'a run that old pesky neighbor off. He were just sit' there say'n nuttin and doz'n off into ya ya land. Lug Nut is up at the Mexican bar again. That dog ain't right. Crazy dog!!!

LOLOLOL.....hahahaha, let me tell ya bout fill'n up them water jugs. I put the hose in one and turn on da water. Well, shoot, it should be full by now. Then I see's this water run'n out "that jeep". Great big ol' hole right there in the side the jug. Check the other one before I fill it. Off to Walmart for more water jugs. Guess I'll just eat out tonight so's I don't have any dishes to wash.

Ok, here's da plan, but everyone knows all bout plans.....like promises. Spend a month at the slabs do'n whatever. Then pack up and go to Yuma where "da pond" (Fortuna Pond) is located. Set up camp and catch me a mess them rainbow trout. Since it's BLM land, I'll only be there 14 days, unless I do like I did last year. Hide when the ranger comes round. Then back to the slabs....probably eat'em up all them trout....for another 2, 3, or 4 weeks. Now it's time to head back east. Yep, back to "da pond" for another 14 days (or more) and catch me up a bunch them rainbow trout. Did I mention I love to catch them fishes???

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Prep Saturday

Now would ya lookie here??? My water hose is done froze up and I need my coffee. Some ya might think it unsanitary to use dog water for coffee, but I got to tell ya, it's as safe as water from the spigot. First, the water gonna get hot enough to burn the skin plumb off your body, so's there ain't gonna be no nasty germs swim'n in your cup. Second, that filter thingy gonna strain out all them dog hairs and anything else swim'n round in there. Ya want a cup????

Let me tell ya bout a blanket what ain't gonna stay on the bed. I got one them really slick $19 dollar Walmart 40 deg sleep'n bag all unzip'ed (cheaper than a brand spank'n new quilt), but that slick sucker just ain't gonna stay on the bed. Slide right off on da floor. Duct tape??? Safety pins??? Super glue???

Ok....here my list for the day.
[] 1. Clean off the table...that mean put stuff where it go
[] 2. Put all that old mail in a box what is lay'n on the bedroom floor
[] 3. Drain and fill da water tank with 40 gallon fresh water
[] 4. Put propane tank and hose in "da jeep".....refill Monday morning
[] 5. Roll up da yard water hose
[X] 6. Clean "da porch"....right!!!...when I says clean, I don't mean "clean".
[] 7. Find a place for the da golf bag....where???
[] 8. Check running lights on "Sally da house"
[] 9. Install air cleaner what is lay'n on da ground...that sucker don't fit...try again
[X] 10. Pick up meds and a few "eat'em ups" from Walmart
[] 11. Take a nap
[X] 12. Take a much needed break....lol, love this one

That should do it for the day and leave me free to "do'n nuttin" tomorrow.

HOLY CRAP!!!! Do you see what time it is??? Went off to town a long time ago, but ended up go'n down the road to get me some smokes from the Indian Smoke Shop. Then auto parts place and then a very crowded Walmart......Grrrrr to talk'n shoppers what block the isles. No respect at all. Guess that means no lay'n back tomorrow.

Speak'n of cell phones, did I ever tell ya bout the time....I were in line behind a nice look'n lady at Walmart. They was check'n and bag'n her goods when her cell phone rang. She were just a beat'n gums, paid for her stuff, turned and headed out the door...still beat'n gums. Ah lady, ya forgot your groceries. Yeah, she got her groceries, but they had to run her down in the park'n lot....still beat'n gums. Men don't do that ya know. In fact, most men don't know how to operate a cell phone in the first place, much less answer it. In fact, the only reason they do answer is 'cause they embarrassed by the stupid ring tone they have on it.

Got me up a nice little nap while an apple pie were bak'n in the oven. It don't look right, but I gonna eat it anyhows. In fact, it's an ugly apple pie.

Friday, November 20, 2009

A gazillion things to do

Crawled out of bed early this morning know'n I had a ton of stuff to do. And it were freak'n cold...not supposed to be, but it were...28 degs with right at 50 degs inside...that where I sleep ya know. Kick on the brand spank'n new Mr Heater and in nuttin flat, old Billy Bob be nice and warm.

[X] 1. Wash the freak'n dishes
[X] 2. Laundry....now ya gotta fold and put up
[X] 3. Pick up all tools
[X] 4. Put Fred in "da jeep"
[X] 5. Rake and pick in "da jeep"....where the hell my rake...Oh, there it is
[X] 6. Find a place for the air compressor....air up tires to 90#
...there went another $20 bill
[] 7. Return borrowed tools and ladder to pesky neighbor Wayne
[X] 8. Remove "dead" battery from where it at and put it over there with the other "dead" batteries
[] 9. Beat sand out of entry carpet, roll up and stow
[X] 10. Take 100#'s of "stuff" to dumpster
[] 11. Take a nap
[XXXXXXXXXX] 12. Take a much needed break

Now, if'n I can put a check mark in those 10 items, I will have had a great day. But, don't bet your youngest child that it'll happen.

The way I figger it, if'n I leave Deming on Monday, I will make the "slabs" just in time for Thanksgiving dinner at the Oasis. Boy howdy, did we ever have a feast last year. Two great big ol' deep fried juicy turkeys, all kind of taters, couple gallon of gravy, home baked breads and rolls and the biggest green salad ya ever see.....you know what we had....same crap ya have at home. Then there were every kinda pie, fruit salads, cake and 6 cans whip up cream. Fresh coffee, iced tea, JD and all the beer and wine ya can drink up. Dang, I can hardly wait.

Boy howdy, only an hour left of day light. Old Billy Bob work from sunup till sundown every day.
I think I did pretty good for one day. Come tomorrow, I should be all done and can sit back on "da porch" all day Sunday sipp'n coffee and "do'n nuttin".

Tomorrow I'll make a new list. Look'n round out there, I still got lots to do. Little things. Why do I have to do all this crap every time I take off somewhere?? Sheesh, stuff everywhere. You would think everything would be in it's place and ready to depart on a new journey at the snap of a finger snap. Speak'n of ginger snap....what is a ginger snap....why is it called a ginger snap and do ginger snaps really go snap??? Inquiring minds want to know.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Why??? Have ya ever thought about "why"? I remember when I was just a tyke or what every ya want to call it, my favorite word was WHY. Why are ya beat'n me with a stick? Why can't I stay up and watch TV? Why is it rain'n? WHY WHY WHY.
Well I got to think'n, why do I blog? Blogs are like movies. They are like books. They are like go'n to the zoo to watch the monkeys mess around. Yes, blogs are a form of entertainment. I like to blog, if for nothing else, for my own entertainment.

Last night there was nothing on TV that interested me, so I went back and read my blog. After read'n some the stuff I wrote on this blog thingy, I was laugh'n, slap'n my knee and think'n....Billy Bob, you crazy. Oh nevermind...not important.

.........will finish this later....golf ball swak'n time.

Ok, that's it, ain't never gonna play golf again as long as I live. "What's the hell wrong with you Billy Bob....you play better than that". Ol pesky neighbor Wayne spank'ed me by 5 strokes.

Been hav'n me some second thoughts bout going to the slabs. But I can save me up bout $3000 if I go. The way I spend money, I need to be somewhere far far away from Walmart, not have access to them "brown trucks" and no golf course within 100 miles. Do ya know how much I spend a month on "stuff"??? Boy Howdy!!!

Lug Nut not do'n too good the last two days. His neck were all swole up so's I put some heat compresses on it. That opened him up for drainage. Seems like I gonna have to get a stronger antibotic prescribed by the local "death squad" vet. I done lost two cats from infection where they was in bar room fights. I sure don't wanna lose Lug Nut to the same thing.

Well shoot, here it is time for dinner again. I get so sick of eat'n every time I turn around. Now....what the hell am I gonna eat???

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

two trips to town

24 degs....yeah I can handle that. That is until I run out of propane. I always have electricity to fall back on with my two little 1500 watt cube heaters. Let's see....2 times 1500 divided by Br-549 carry the 1 plus 14.62 = right at 10,239 btu's. Yeah, that'll work. Anyone remember BR-549???

I were gonna make a morning post just for old Uncle Ben, but rekoned since I had the vacuum cleaner out I would vacuum "da laptop". Turn it off and lay it on the floor and vacuum away. Boy howdy yee haa. Turn it over and do the other side. Now I gots a rip snort'n hi speed internet clickity clickity click laptop. Ya aught'er hear that little fan...not a whisper. Bunch of dog hair come out them little holes.

What a testy day for old Billy Bob. Had'a make two trips to town to get this brand spank'n new air compressor hook up. Wasted way too much time try'n to make it so easy even a girl could operate it. Made a test run on two the back tires. Let some air out to 80# and pump'er up again. Well that didn't take long. Now for the front....well shoot, the air fill it up thingy won't fit...stems too short. Off to town and buy me some brand spank new valve stem extensions. Now it fit....BUT...the air goes in so slow it'll take 4 day to fill a tire. Draw'n board Billy Bob.....take it apart and fix it. Maybe ya got the extension too tight and squish'n that little gasket thingy. Have I ever mentioned "tomorrow"????

Hard decision bout what to eat for dinner. Were gonna have a big ol' T-bone steak, baked tater, mushroom gravy and corn on da cob. Since I had just enough chili left over, it were chili cheese fries with a whole chopped up white onion. Boy howdy!!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Frozen bones

I don't know bout the rest of ya, but old Billy Bob were cold all day long. I want ya to know that it got up to 59 degs today, but I were freez'n all day long. Sit outside this afternoon think'n I might pick up some that stuff lay'n on the ground. Nope, didn't do it. It were still there this morn'n, so it should still be there tomorrow.

That little piece of land I was look'n at in Terlingua, it bit the dust. Seems the seller made a mistake as to what piece of property they were selling. So, another one bites the dust.

Got my little brand spank'n new Hulk air compressor less then an hour ago. Plug it in, turn on that little switch and it purrrr'n like a brand spank'n new born huuuum'n bird. But WTH....hahahaha, bet ya thought I were gonna say F didn't ya.....it weren't mak'n no air pressure. So's I takes a look. Well what is this....where the little valve handle what ya turn to let out the water? Gone....busted off...just like that. Old Billy Bob know what to do...take it apart, what I did. Hmmmmm, I can fix this....what I did. Nuttin flat that sucker were up to 120# pressure. Now why can't I upload the pic???? Sheesh!!!That wasn't so hard. Just had to wait till Bloggle got their stuff together.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Too freak'n cold

It were so cold last night I thought I were gonna die. To test my ability to withstand extreme blizzard conditions, I decided to leave all sources of heat OFF for the night. Boy howdy, ain't gonna do that again. It got down to bout 24 degs and only a few more in my bed. Lug Nut crawled up under the covers say'n...."what the hell wrong with you, turn on some heat". By morning, it was cold enough inside to "test" my brand spank'n new Mr Heater. In less than 30 minutes it were nice and cozy.

Something strange happen to my back last night. I were lay'n on the couch watch'n some PBS stuff and I feel something "click" in my back. Then I noticed my hip had quit hurt'n....what hurt all the time. Most of the pain in my lower right back was gone. BUT, the other side start hurt'n. This happened one time before right after my surgery, but it only lasted for a day, then right back to the way it was. Hope this cure lasts for the rest of my life. Been tot'n this pain around for close to 20 years.

Wow, time flies when ya ain't "do'n nuttin". Here it is another week gone by and all that stuff I were gonna do last week is still sit'n in the same place. Procrastination may a good word to use at this time. Actually, I been put'n it off for a reason. It's not good to just rush into something like "work" when ya can sit back on " da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. I learnt long time ago, what ya don't do today, will still be there tomorrow.

Not that I have anything planned for the day, but I gots to do something. If'n I'm gonna hit the road in time for Thanksgiving dinner at the slabs, I got to get busy. It's a beautiful sunshiny day out there, but still only 52 degs. in the sun. On "da porch", bout 45. Not much to do other than pick up stuff I throwed on the ground do'n other stuff. Probably change the air filter and hope my gas mileage goes back up. Got new spark plugs, but the book says change at 50,000 miles. Hope I don't lose then in the next 3 or 4 years.

Got a brand spank'n new air compressor com'n by UPS tomorrow. The last one I had bit the dust pump'n 90# air in the tires. Junk!!! But then again, old Billy Bob is knowed for buy'n junk. Old pesky neighbor Wayne traded his 100# Sears compressor for the one that bit the dust, but it would only pump to 85#s....what ain't enough. Damn, I got this motorhome overloaded and the tires are over 5 years old. Speak'n of tires, ya know how much a set of tires cost? Yep, $2400. Holy crap that would bust me for sure.

Ok....gotta do something.....be back laters.

LOLOLOL....HAHAHAHA....yeah right Billy Bob, ya gotta do something. Old pesky meighbor Wayne come over and we talked for waaaaay too long. Then I made me up a big ol'e sandwih for lunch what put me slap out for the count. "Knock'em out ham samich". Then I got to look'n at land again....what everyone know takes hours of research and button push'n. So here I am at 3pm with nothing to show for my day other than a full stomach and a great big nap. Sheesh!!!

Oh Oh....I'm think'n I spoke too quick bout my back heal'n. Yeah right!!! Started hurt'n in that right hip again, but still not as bad as usual. Did ya know that a bad back can make ya "do nuttin"???

Sure is nice outside......what ya think??? A cup of fresh "man" coffee and do some think'n???
Well....that didn't last very long. It's still too cold out there for a sissy like me. Back inside with nuttin to do. Well I guess I could vacuum and do the dishes again....nah....they'll still be there tomorrow.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday morn'n don't give a flip

Boy howdy, old Billy Bob is in one them maniac depression moods. Seems like every time I gets all 'cited bout something, I get whak'ed in the nads or what ever ya call 'em. Makes me wanna go outside and smak a tree. Tree??? Are you nuts, there ain't no tree....go mess with that cactus garden.

Do ya ever talk to yourself? I was in a heated discussion the other day with my otherself bout what I gonna do on vacation. "I" wants to go fish'n, but "I" wants to just lay back and do nuttin. Then "I" wants to go to south Texas and "I" wants to go west to Ca. "I" wants to go "digg'n" for gold, but "I" says I can't do that no more. Sheesh....why the hell does "I" have to mess stuff up?

Oh Oh, I gots to go to the hardware store. Buy me up some plumbing fit'ns for my new gas line. Was gonna go yesterday, but knowed the hardware store were closed on Sunday. Old pesky neighbor Wayne told me it was Saturday.......what the hell does he know???
Be back in a flash....

Yeah right....back in a flash!!! Let me tell ya bout that gald darn hardware store. They ain't got nuttin for old Billy Bob...out of stock...OH, it'll be here tuesday....we quit stock'n that.....Grrrrrrr.
Ended up with enough fittings to make a temporary connection, what I like better than the first plan. Less hose lay'n on the floor to trip over early in the morn'n. But.....the only cut off valve is on the main propane tank what will shut off everything. More fittings to install separate cut off valve......but I'm still safe....no leaks.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

A lazy saturday

Poor ol' Lug Nut don't be feel'n very good today. He had a rough night try'n to be comfortable. I was up check'n on him like every hour, so I didn't get much sleep either. Hate it when an animal gets hurt.

Boy howdy, I want ya lookie here, MsB is back. Welcome home little girl....we all miss ya when you're off gallivant'n round the country.

Made me a parts list for the gas line for my brand spank'n new high octane Mr Heater portable heater. Gonna be a lot simpler than I had expected. Only 10 feet from the propane tank and only one little compartment to go through....up through the floor and walla, I gots 26 gallons propane.

Been work'n inside today since it's windy outside. Ha ha ha, yeah work!!! Put'n a few groceries away ain't what ya call work. Wind just keeps right on blow'n and it gonna get worse. And it's chilly out there....what old Billy Bob don't like. If ya ever live in W.Va. ya know what I'm talk'n bout. Snow from late Nov till late March....now that some snow. And cold, let me tell ya bout cold. Boy howdy does it ever get cold in them mountains and hollers.

Maybe I need to make a pie. Sure could use something sweet for a change from all that burnt and bitter stuff I been eat'n. I did tell ya bout the gravy I made, right??? Burn the crap out it. Ya would think I were mak'n roux for gumbo. Speak'n of gumbo, did I ever tell ya bout the time I were mak'n a big ol' pot of chicken and sausage gumbo? All were go'n good till I forgot to stir the roux. Did ya know roux is called liquid fire??? Burn it slap up. Anyhows, instead of throw'n it out, I used it. Most God awful tast'n gumbo ya ever eat.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Here comes bad weather

Well Holy Crap!!! Here come that "norther" right out the north just like what the weather guy says. Won't be do'n nuttin outside for the next 4 or 5 days.

Them clouds we had all day yesterday held the heat in last night. Never got under 50 degs so didn't have to use any heat......but....old pesky neighbor Wayne come over this morning and left the door wide open. Then when he left, he left the door wide open....sheesh!!!

Decided I need to do something bout all this mess I got all over the place. Can't understand where all this mess come from. Just a week ago everything was spic and span clean.

Only a couple weeks and old Billy Bob gonna be "on the road again". Can't wait to get to the slabs and suffer without a/c, electricity, water and sewer.

Then off to "da pond" over in Yuma Az. to catch me a bunch them rainbow trout. They start stock'n the pond in Dec, so if'n I get there mid Jan, them fish all be settled down and hungry. Boy howdy, I love fish'n.

If'n I weren't such a sissy, I would blow up my little boat and paddle round and get to them secluded areas where them bass hang out. Oh, before I forget, I fount my old tackle boxes the other day. I thought someone had done stole them. Hmmmmm.....salt water stuff. There ain't no salt water in the desert.

That ol' black cloud come back to Billy Bobs house again. Bout 5pm, Lug Nut come drag'n home with blood all over him. He done went off somewhere and got his butt whooped pretty good. Cleaned up the blood and went look'n. Yep, it his blood....three little holes in his neck and one chewed up ear. Kind a reminds me the time I were in this biker bar and call one them burley bikers "tinker bell" 'cause he had a little bell on his "ass stomp'n" boot. Boy howdy....bumps and bruises.... can't people take a joke? Any hows, Lug Nut ate up a "special" hamburger for dinner and is rest'n on the couch. Bet ya he don't go to no more biker bars strut'n his stuff.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Not much

Holy Crap!!! The sky were on fire this morning. Naturally, my batteries in the camera were still sound asleep. Fire in the sky is what the native Indians called a spectacular sunrise or sunset.

Bout 8am old pesky neighbor come over want'n to go play a round. Well shoot, I can't turn down an offer like that. First ball I swaked went right over there under that tree....now what ya gonna do Billy Bob. Punt!!! Second hole ate my lunch. Hit it right in that sand trap, what took me 3 strokes to get out of......Grrrrrrr!!!! Terrible front nine, but look out, here come Billy Bob on the back nine. 49 on the front....41 on the back.

Got back home with pains in my chest. Right where they opened me up with a can opener a year and a half ago. I should be healed by now. Oh, did I tell ya bout when my doctor found out I was swak'n golf balls 3 weeks after surgery? Boy howdy did he ever give me a good reem'n. He plainly told me "no golf" for 8 weeks. Notice how close a 3 looks to an 8....mistaken identity. Ate me up a big ol' lunch and laid down. Also fell slap asleep.

No more talk bout them damn quail. Soon as I mentioned blow'n up birds, my visitor numbers dropped off.
Speak'n of quail, I belched feathers all night long. Also speak'n of quail, them ring neck doves out there are much bigger....bout 5 pounds. Ya don't rekon???

Did a little porch clean'n today but not enough to notice, so no need to even mention it. Damn, I must be get'n lazy. Every where I look, all I see is work. Dishes piled up, groceries still sit'n on the floor, tools all over the yard, laundry to do and I don't feel like do'n nuttin. Don't even want to cook hamburger steak, fried onions, boiled taters and gravy. Sounds good to me.

Ok, so I didn't post anything earlier. So freak'n what!!! Just can't get in the mood for some reason. Oh...before I forget, got my Mr Heater super duper 18,000 btu heater yesterday. Tried it out last night before I went to bed and boy howdy does that thing put out some heat. Cranked it back up this morning....52 degs inside and in less than 30 minutes it were nice and warm. All safety precautions were observed. Gonna do just perfect at the slabs.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dirty rice and quail

Holy jeebies Billy Bob, where ya been all day? Oh I just been "do'n stuff".

Started the day off with a couple pots of coffee so strong even old pesky neighbor Wayne wouldn't drink it. Ate me up a bacon samich so's I don't lose no more weight. Come dinner time and I passed it up....just like that it were 2pm.

Been clean'n out the compartments on "da house" most the day. Found stuff I forgot I had. Removed maybe a total of 75 pounds of dead weight. How bout that old dead battery you been carry'n round for 4 years??? Tomorrow!!! Funny how stuff accumulates adding weight and cut'n down on gas mileage. Three years ago I removed over 200 pounds, but in the last three years I bough bout 300 pounds of new stuff.

I give the quail a break all day while I were work'n, but then I got to think'n. If'n I gonna eat Quail and dirty rice tonight, I need just one more. Well "that gun" weren't hit'n the same spot every shot so I started look'n at it. Well shoot, them little screws are loose what hold the scope on.....tighten tighten little screws....make new target...sight in again. Boy howdy were I way off. Oh Oh, there that one quail. Dead on at 60 feets.

Ok, dirty rice is cook'n, quail is in a baggie of flour and I is hungry. Since I'm hav'n dirty rice, might add some creole season'n to the little baggie....maybe not.
Gonna be back in just a little bit to let ya know how it turned out......
Yep....Uh huh, that be some good eat'n.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Walk'n on thin air

What the hell? You don't suppose I got up too early this morn'n do ya? It were still dark out there. Had one them orange color sunrises what make ya think of orange juice, fried eggs, a slab of ham, hash browns and toast. Since I don't do orange juice 'cause I ain't got no oranges, I just had a big ol' pot of strong coffee. Wayne says "that why ya keep los'n weight...ya don't eat". Bout 11am I ate me up a big 2 egg, fried bolony and cheese sandwich. Ain't felt worth a crap ever since.

I were look'n at that little quail breast this morn'n ponder'n how to cook it up. Well shoot, it ain't but bout three good bites. Gonna take more than one for old Billy Bob. Sit out there on "da porch" just wait'n for them quails for hours. Not a one in sight. Maybe tonight after old pesky neighbor Wayne feeds 'em.

Speak'n of old pesky neighbor Wayne, he come over while ago whin'n bout his starter went out and it were gonna cost him $168 for a new one. I says..."did ya check the battery connections"??? No, just gonna get under there and change the starter. Well, since old Billy Bob been mechanic'n for near on to 52.75 years, I went an took a look. Hmmmmm...battery has 12.65 volts but all what happens is a little "grrrrr" sound when ya turn the key. Post was dirty like ya never see before and to top it off, the cable had one them "rookie" cable ends...all corroded up like a moth ball. Off to the auto parts store to pick up my Onan oil filters and Wayne a new battery cable. All fix up in no time flat!!!

I been questioning, pondering, think'n bout and just plain wondering if I gonna live to be a hunderd or not. The way I been feel'n this last week, I'm think'n not. Ya know, when ya get pains where they ain't been before, there got to be something go'n on. It were just this morn'n, I had this pain right there below my stomach on the right side. What the hell is this??? Bent over like an old man without his walker, I proceded to brew me up a mean pot of coffee when all a sudden I get this urge.... Ripped me off a big'un and I were walk'n on thin air. All that pain were gone....just like that. :-)

Oh Oh....I see quail....publish post....shoot quail....
Oh, good move Lug Nut. He done run off every bird what was out there. Crazy dog!!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Just a day

bla bla bla.....boy howdy what a day. Not a thing happened today to excite me in the least or any of you. Very boring. Must have something to do with spend'n too much time "do'n nuttin".

Made the trip to town today for get'n groceries and some other stuff. All went well. Oh wait, did I tell ya bout the checkout chick. That little bar code reader thingy fell right down though that hole. Poor little honey didn't know what to do. That shut that lane down.
Anyhows, that hundred dollar I were gonna spend.....whoa...$154, but I did get me one them high dollar use metal utensils non stick interior coated T-Fal Expert Cook fry skillets. Can't wait to abuse it with my stainless steel egg flipper thingy.

Broke out my high octane 1100 fps Beeman pellet gun today for to shoot me some them quail out there in the road eat'n corn, tortillas and pineapple cake. Shoot, I couldn't hit nuttin. Wasted 100 pellets try'n to sight it in but it never hit the same place twice.....what the hell. Then I were just look'n at it...just look'n. Well crap, the scope is loose...the little eye thingy. Tightened up that lock nut thingy (jam nut) and hit the bull eye no problem. Bout that time here come a lone quail.....pow, one shot, one quail breast in the fridge. Old "dead eye" Billy Bob gonna be eat'n quail tomorrow night fer sure. Now all I gots to do is figger out how to cook'em up.

Fount me another piece of property (5 acres) down in Terlingua Ranch. One mile from the paved ranch road, one mile from Chucks house and two mile from the Grub Shack. There's an old say'n...."yer ship come to port only one time". Everything is perfect about the property....drove that road and it's good. Looked on Google Earth and it has plenty of desert growth. But, as I recall, there is a lot of rock. Oh, before I fergit, it's located only bout 1000 yards from the south east corner of Camels Humps. I'm think'n buy sight unseen since I've looked in that area before. It's cheap enough that I could just write it off if I don't like it. What ya think???

Did I eat today? Yeah I did and that sucker stuck in the pan....rune'n it. A Jimmy Dean omelet don't spose to look like that. Gonna eat me 3 beef brats for dinner with some bread and a concoction of ketchup, mayo and mustard. Oh, fore I fergits, I were read'n a blog and this guy eats peanut butter, mayo and onion sanwiches. I gonna give it a try. But not tonight.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Hard decisions

Boy howdy, I were cold last night. Only got down to 40 degs, but I had a chill what wouldn't go away.

Got up this morning to a sunrise of some kind. Weren't even look'n. Had my mind on other things....like what I gonna do today. Sure is hard being retired...very hard decisions.

Went outside and worked on fix'n stuff on "da house". This thing has got a trip to go on in right bout 3 weeks. I guess I'll leave some of the little unimportant things for when I get to "the slabs" since there's nuttin to do there other than sit on "yer butt", drink coffee and pester the neighbors. Hope that old "whinny" mustard ain't gonna be there this year. Complained bout everything. Dogs bark'n, neighbors play'n music, cars driv'n by, helicopters fly'n at night, bombs go'n off at the bombing range, generators too loud.....boy howdy!!!!

Tomorrow I plan to break out my high power 1100 feets per second pellet gun and shoot me some dinner. Too many quail in the road could cause and accident or something ya know. Guess I'll have to sight in the scope first so's I don't wound them cute little critters. Now all I got to do is figger out how to clean them suckers.

Today has been a terrible day for the old Billy Bob. Didn't feel like do'n nuttin. Just sit out there on that old porch drink'n coffee an think'n. As much as I hate it, I gonna go to Walmart tomorrow and spend me another hunerd dollar on stuff to eat. Go to the post office and pick up my quick connect Mr Heater hose. Drop a couple thousand off at my broker so's I don't run out of cash on the slabs trip. Boy howdy, I gonna be broke fore I leave.

Oh yeah, I want to thank all them democrats what be sentence me to death in three years. Medicare needs that $500,000,000,000 dollars they gonna use to "reform". But, being an old fart, it ain't gonna effect me that much....other than dying for lack of funds.....sheesh!!!

Saturday, November 7, 2009


So what??? It weren't MY fault. Not only do I know the meaning of FAP, I also don't think it's at all funny. They....Hughes Net, call it technology at it's finest to have a system that will connect to the internet no matter where you are. Ha....what they don't tell ya is that "they" will cut you off just like that.

About my operating system on this here laptop, what's wrong with it??? It does the same thing all the others do, plus more. Mr Gates ain't no dummy ya know. Even if I did change to XP, I would have the same problems I have now. My laptop is soooo dirty, when ya push one the keys ya can hear a "sandy" sound. You don't just "push" a key' ya slam it down. That poor little fan make all kinds of silly squeel'n sounds like it need a lube job. There's peanut butter in one the USB plug thingys. The screen has duct tape hold'n it together. Works as good as it's gonna.

Boy howdy was old Billy Bob lazy today. I ain't done a thing. Never did put on the first shoe. Woke up at 4am with the worstest headache ever invented. Had a big ol' crick in my neck and my back hurted like I was shot with a shot gun. Just another normal day in the life of an old retired fart.

Yesterday I broke out all the oil chang'n stuff (again) to change the oil in the Onan generator. Now where the hell is my brand spank'n new oil filter??? I know I bought one, but don't have the slightest where it at. So, put all the stuff back and took a nap. Then I put the charger on that battery I took out the little red Bronco II....there ain't nuttin wrong with that battery.

Speak'n of swak'n golf balls, I whooped poor old pesky neighbor Wayne "bad" time yesterday morn'n. Then he got all huffed up and told me "get out my golf cart and walk home". Sheesh, it weren't me hit'n his golf balls. Anyhows, all the way home all he did was holler at people out the winder and drive like a maniac crazy man. Glad it was only 5 mile.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Maintenance day

Ok, here's the deal. Got all kind of sunshine, it's warm and I'm all fired up to "do something".

Think'n bout an oil change and change that air filter what ain't been changed in 25,000 miles. Maybe plug and wires, but probably not today.

Off to town I go......now where the hell are my dogs. I call 'em and call 'em, but no dogs. Went over and jump on Wayne's golf cart and go look'n....no dogs. Say..."to hell with it, they'll be back", so I open the door to "that jeep" and there my dogs...inside. Bet old pesky neighbor Wayne thought that was real freak'n cute.

Anyhows, Walmart done piss me off. After shop'n for an hour I got me a basket full of stuff, so I heads off to the checkouts. Holy crap, would you look them long lines...all 4 of them. I holler..."HEY", but that didn't help. So I left my cart full of stuff and went "manager" hunt'n. Old Billy Bob were HOT!!! Not a manager in sight, no where.....gone....AOL. Left the store mumbl'n stuff and went off to the auto parts store. Got my stuff there and since I had cooled off, went back to Walmart and retreived my cart full of stuff....there was 6 checkouts open along with 3 them 20 item checkouts and no lines to wait in....go figure.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....my youngest son (18) went grocery shop'n with me. We each took a cart and a list and fill them carts way up. We got to the checkout lines and I tell my son...."you git in that line"....what he did. After a 15 minute wait, the nice lady told my son..."this is a 20 items or less checkout". Boy howdy were my son embarrassed and pissed at good ol' dad. He never went shop'n with me again.

After an hour on the floor try'n to get both legs to work as a group, I tackled the job of an easy oil and filter change....right!!!! First thing, the oil catch'n thingy decided to overflow all over the ground....what I naturally got into. Then came the easy to get to oil filter. That sucker won't turn. Last person to change the filter must have put it on with an impact wrench. Busted knuckles, an hour oc choice words, it was finally decided to drive a big ol' screwdriver through it and hope for the best. First hole just ripped out but the second one did the trick....it moved. Over one hour just to change an oil filter....sheesh!!! Then I had to put new oil in using my homemade oil filler thingy.

That's all I gonna do today....'cept fer sit'n on da porch sip'n a cup.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Black cloud never goes away

Holy cows, what a beautiful morning. Perfect for "do'n nuttin". It were 39 degs outside, but I were inside where it was warm.

Old pesky neighbor showed up bright and early tell'n my someone wants to buy my little red Bronco II. But it wouldn't start. What the hell he talk'n bout won't start??? Went out and turn the key thingy...nothing, absolutely nothing. Freak'n battery deadlike a road kill possum. No problem....jump it. What I did, but the battery won't charge. Put my high dollar 40 amp charger on it....only 2.2 amps. Here's the deal, if'n the battery was dead before the freezes, the battery froze. That's not good at all. Put my spare in the Bronco, hook up charger, and crank engine....purr like a kitten.

Went and give them windshields a look over....hmmmm, one corner stick'n out bout 1/2 inch. That what that tape were for. Anyhows, it has a ton of that black winder stick'n stuff behind it, so it's good enough. Speak'n of that tape, just out of curiously, I pulled a piece back and off come a piece of trim. What the hell??? Put it back real quick like. Tape supposed to stay put for no less than 48 hours....are ya listen'n Billy Bob to what the winder guy told ya???
Loved Rivers rendition of the trash truck episode yesterday in the comments section. Ya gotta go back and read it. I didn't think he had a sense of humor....ha, boy howdy was I ever wrong.

Now I done ate me up a big plate full chili cheese fries and here come the sleepy eye. Sound like a nap to me......laters

Guy come by what wants to buy my little red Bronco II. Ha...same guy that cheated me out of $50 on a trailer I sold him. I just told him it's not for sale, but the Jeep is. He left.

Dang, I didn't do a thing this afternoon....other than sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup and holler'n at the new bark'n dogs. Big dogs, loud voices.

Don't know what I'm mak'n for dinner, but it looks terrible. Meat balls, alfredo sauce, noodles and broccoli all mix up in one skillet. "My God Billy Bob, you eat some weird stuff".

LOLOLOL.....hahahaha.....boy howdy, that crap sucks. Dogs even turned up there nose. Looks like peanutbutter and jelly again.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The popster is back

Boy howdy am I ever glad to be back home. Don't EVER go to El Paso to get windshields replaced.

I could make this very short, but I ain't gonna.......

Made the right choice last night to stay at the rest area. Woke up at 4 am and look outside..."my God, it's daylight". No it weren't. It only looked like it under all them high power park'n lot lights. Have ya ever woke up and says..."where the hell am I"? That happens quite often when ya travel all over the country. Woke up on "da beach" one time think'n I was still in the desert.

Anyhows, I was still 30 miles from the winder fix'n place when I got on I-10. Allowed 45 minutes to get there by 8am. All was just fine, right on schedule, when I see this big line of traffic....in my lane. Someone done crashed up a brand spank'n new pick'un up truck. Got to the glass place at 8:25...but it didn't make no matter what time I got there, I was gonna wait.

This boy come out to the park'n lot where I was camp'n and took both my winders slap out....in less than 10 minutes. Then it was back to wait. Told that shop foreman feller to move that van and I would pull this loooong thing right in that big door. Boy howdy was it ever a close shave. With an 18 foots wheelbase, turns are very wide.

Swish bam boom.....winders installed and taped up. Hmmmmm....why the hell all the tape. They try'n to hide something??? Then back out to the park'n lot to wait 2 hours for the adhesive to take effect....or what ever.

Now, I'm back on I-10...go'n the other way right bout 60 mile when up the road I see this line of traffic. It were a bunch of rubberneckers scop'n out another wreck. Back up to 60 mile and "HOLY SHIT"...great big ol' garbage truck is com'n my way head on....from the other side the hi-way. He didn't make it....turned that sucker slap over. (didn't see any other vehicles involved)

Then I said..."well shoot, may as well get some this cheap Texas gas....with 10% ethanol. Whip'ed into a Pilot station....right! this thing won't fit in that tiny space. So back out on the road to Fly'n J....right! Freak'n card reader were broke. Pull to another pump, insert card. Now come a gazillion questions, what I can barely see. Since the gas was so cheap, I says..."filler up"....right!
Took 15 minutes to pump 21 gallons, so I cut it off at $50. They done lost a $125 sale with their slow pumps.

Now I'm back home....right at dark time. Couldn't see my "line'em up" markers so I just stuck it in the hole. Only 2 inches off on the front end. Close enough for an old retired fart.

Lug Nut and Sadie Mae sure were happy to see "daddy". Jump'n up and down like I been gone for a month. Did the same thing when I got home from the hospital.

That's all folks....see ya tomorrow.

Monday, November 2, 2009

El Paso bound

Nuther one them beautiful days In Deming. Got up right bout 6:30 to 45 degs and sun just com'n up. Boy howdy, can't beat that with a stick.

Been all day get'n ready for the hi-way to El Paso, Texas. Mostly just lay'n round think'n bout what I need to do. Dread this trip. Gotta sleep in a freak'n park'n lot, then in the morning, try to figure out how to get this big thing in the narrow entrance to the work area. That's tomorrow, this is today.

That's all the news from Billy Bob's house. Will be back online in a couple days....unless the window fix'n place has wifi.

See Ya!!!

Ha....and they thought they would fool old Billy Bob. Since I'm not for park'n in a dark unsecured parking lot, decided to just stay at a Texas Rest Area where they got wifi. Not a good connection, but it's wifi.

And....since I have a few hours before I hit the sack, thought I would tell ya bout my second bb gun. But first, I suppose I should tell ya bout my "first" Daisy BB gun. I were 6 year old and my pop (what the hell was he think'n) bought me a brand spank'n new Daisy for my birthday. I was liv'n on the farm with 5 orphan kids while pop was off fight'n in the war. I were too little to cock the Daisy BB gun, so the big boys would do it for me....then tell me.."shoot that chicken"..."shoot that pig in da ass"..."shoot that cow". Boy howdy, I were a shoot'n fool. But that come to an abrupt end when "moms" fount a dead chicken. She ask..."how that happen"? I says..."it just up and died". While pluck'n feathers, moms found a little hole and inside that hole was a brand spank'n new BB. BB gun go wrap round that big ol' tree in the back yard.

Now for Daisy BB gun number two. I were 12 years old up in Palasades Idaho where my pop worked on the dam and drank beer in the tavern....lots of beer. Well, one week end they had a celebrity come drink'n beer and mess'n with the wimmins. Hopalong Cassity (William Boyd). Boy howdy was I ever proud to meet him, but boy howdy was he ever drunk. Anyhows, they was hav'n a door prize draw'n and I was the ticket picker. Got rewarded for my efforts with a brand spank'n new Daisy BB gun, what at 12 year old, I could cock with no problem.

Well, I learnt to shoot the Daisy bb gun right dead on what ever I took a notion to shoot. Pop bought a brand spank'n new used 1937 Studebaker what had them door what was back'erds. If'n ya open the door go'n 50 mph....pooof, it were gone. Anyhows, while out eagle hun't'n...all little birds were eagles, I takes aim at that old Studebaker from bout 300 yards out think'n "ain't no way I can hit that headlight from here". Wrong!!! Pop was pissed 'cause that new headlight cost as much as 4 beers. Luckily, Daisy didn't get wrapped round no tree, but it come up miss'n for the longest. Turned up again when we moved to Las Vegas. That's where I shot my cousin right slap tween the eyes. Uncle knowed right off what happen even though we had different stories. Don't know what happen to my Daisy after that day.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Is this Sunday already???

Holy Crap. Today is Sunday and I ain't even ready. Old pesky neighbor Wayne come over and says, "are ya ready"??? Ready??? Ready for what....this is a golf day ya know. Beautiful golf day.
Ok, where the hell did Lug Nut put my other shoe???

Be back laters.....

LOLOLOLOL.....hahahahaha....ain't never gonna play golf again. There ain't nobody, repeat, nobody, hit a ball over there where there ain't nuttin but trees, rocks, sand, and high weeds. Worst game I ever played since the time I hit my first golf ball through the kitchen window. What is it that old Uncle Ben says....GRRRRRR!!!

You ain't gonna believe how great a day it turned out to be. Won't be stuck in "da house" today, that for sure. Gonna finish chop'n them weeks in the yard and burn them. Pooof, no more weeds.
But first I gots to eat me up some chili spaghetti.

Yum Yum eat'um up. That was some good eat'n.
Ok, back to work. Done got all them weeds loose from where they was liv'n and put them in a big ol' pile right smack in the middle of the yard. Bout a pint of super hi test gasoline and I have me a bon fire. Flames shoot'n 20 feet in the air, smoke like ya ain't never seen and old Billy Bob back'n off for safer ground. Backward shuffle or something like that. That Billy Bob know some stuff bout mak'n a fire.

Went dumpster div'n and fount me a nice little discarded piece of what looked like something I could surely use at "da house". Took it back to "da porch" and now I got me a brand spank'n new table side my easy chair. Some people just fail to look at all the possibilities when the toss stuff in the trash.

I have nothing more to say at this time. Done a days work, played a round of golf and now it's time to lay back and relax with a fresh cup'o on "da porch".