Friday, January 28, 2011

Ya can't hold a Billy Bob down

Boy howdy, old Billy Bob is all well again. But before ya go get'n all excitis do'n hand stands and stuff like that, I ain't say'n I ain't still weak and clumbsy.

This sickness has broke a 15 plus year "sickless" stretch that I have been prowdly boasting the healing powers of Vitimin "C" for so long. Now I want you to think bout that for a minute. Fifteen years is a long time to not even have the "sniffles" with the extremes in tempuratures I've put this old body through.

So, let's take a quick look at this "sickness" I was struck down with. First off, there was no warnings of any kind to give me the impression I was "about to die". The first symptom started at the evening campfire. I started coughing for no apparent reason other than a little smoke. After 20 minutes I was coughing so bad I had to return to "da house" and lay my ass down. This was the start of "Dr. Billy Bob's Vitamin 'C' health cycle" (first day.....6,000 to 10,000 mg. 3,000 to 5,000 mg each day after). This is where ya bring out the big guns in the face of battle.

Through out the night I managed to cough up enough "stuff" to make the "p-flem" gods be proud. With 4,000 mg's of Vit. C in my system, I didn't have to do a damn thing. Just lay back, relax and let nature takes it's course. But.....in the mean time, my body was evacuating every little drop of water I had stored from the day before. But that's good to wash out all them nasty "flu" bug riffraff  and stuff like that.

Ok....this is gonna be too long.......First 24 hours.....lungs were clear. Second day stomach ailments cleared up, but food still not gonna happen. 3rd day, doing very well....hungry as hell. 4th an 5th days were nothing more than recoup strength days. Billy Bob is well. Thank you Vitamin "C".

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Whare is Billy Bob

Billy Bob been deathly sick for the last 4 days. Don't know what it is or where is come from. It happen just like that.

I guess it was saturday....hell I don't know, I was feel'n good, sit'n out on "da Porch" sip'n a cup. Ate me up some catfish and chili beans and went to the campfire. That's when it hit me.....someone reloaded the fire and I started coughing. After 20 minutes I was coughing so bad I had to go home. That night I continued to cough even though there was no smoke in "da house". And now I need aspirin to releive the lower back pains. This was the first night and start of a new day.....it only gets worse. By the time this morning rolled around I think I died a couple times. Today was my first day in 4 to eat solid food....which consisted of a 2 1/2 inch pancake and 4 spoon fulls of cream of mush soup.

Hope to back in the swing of things with in the next few days. But that's asking for a lot.....maybe a week.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Ok, what am I gonna do today???

Yesterday turned out to be a total flop when the propane guy didn't show up. He had come around the week before passing out these bright fluorescent green signs, see 'em a mile away, what ya put in your window tuesday morning. Well shoot, he never showed up to see the little fluorescent green signs.

I guess winter is finally over. It's been a hard one out here at the "slabs" from day 1. I recall one night the temp got all the way down to 37 degs when an Artic cold front came bearing down on us. But that only lasted a couple days. Now the night time temps are in the 50's with wonderful "hot" day time temps in the lower 80's. Anyone for air conditioning?

Boy howdy, what happen this morning? I pop my eyes open this morning and look outside. It's still dark. What the hell??? I ain't been up this early in a couple months. But then last night was the first night I went to bed before midnight. 

I was sit'n round yesterday do'n a little think'n. Seems like it take a long time to do things now days what I used to get done before breakfast. Maybe I'm just get'n lazy at my old age. The things I used to want to do just ain't there any more. Or maybe it's that I can't do them at all.

Ok.....got things to do. Freak'n laundry basket been sit'n by the door for a week. Off to town.

Monday, January 17, 2011

To pinch or not to pinch

Boy howdy....did old Billy Bob get pissed the other night or what?

Ya see, it's like this...we was all sit'n around the camp fire, fire blaz'n, dogs play'n, shoot'n the breeze, drink'n our favorite brews....the subject of "pinch collars" come up. Half the camp thought they were cruel midevil torturing devices to train a dog to do anything you tell it. The other half seemed to think they were the best thing ever invented to "make the dog do anything you say". Naturally I left the campfire when a playing dog was yanked plumb off it's feet by means of a pinch collar for doing nuttin but hav'n a good ol' time with the other dogs. I'm think'n there's a time to train a dog and a time for the dog to have some fun...not both at the same time.

Back at "da house" I did a little research on these supposedly humane pinching devices. That was also a 50/50 deal. Now the way I see it is if I tap you on the head with a 2x4, I'll get your attention. That would be same as a slight pull on a pinch collar. But....if I wind up and and "pop" ya one real hard with that 2x4, I'm gonna do some damage....like knock your ass slap out. That would be about the same as giving a mighty yank on a pinch collar....so hard that the dog comes slap off the ground.

According to neurologist and animal welfare advocate, Jean Zuniga, MD, PhD, these collars can actually cause permanent damage in the dog. 

Well I suppose everyone is dying to hear about "the boat". I got that piece of stryo screwed to the bottom just like I said I was gonna do. Then I started experimenting on adding some voltage to the motor. Well that didn't work out as planned. Then I said......"ya need more speed". With the pulley set up I started with, the wheel turned 80 rpm.....what I thought would be fast enough. It ain't. So I broke out a bunch of wood work'n tools and ripped the pulley off the paddle wheel. Got lucky....didn't break nuttin. Then I made another one....half the diameter of the motor drive pulley. Holy crap......it turns 160 rpm on full throttle. Gonna go a hunert mile a hour.

Had I felt better (Billy Bob gets sick when he's upset) today and yesterday , "the boat" would have made a trip to the water hole. But as it is, it will have to wait till tomorrow.....or the next day....or something like that. Did get "that jeep" washed though. No...not by me. I pay for crap like that. Then tomorrow the propane guy gonna bring me some propane. Not that I'm gonna need it.....it's been plumb hot at the slabs. 87 degs right now at 3pm. Then....I got a load of laundry what gotta be washed....maybe today. Then....there's my trip to Walmart in the near future. Boy howdy, old Billy Bob just never get no rest.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Give up or not???

Well Billy Bob, there comes a time in everyones life that they got to just leave well enough alone. Ya know what I'm talk'n bout don't ya???

Well, ya see, it's like this......"that boat"!!! It damn thing sits too low in the back end....it gonna sink. Well, it might not actually sink, but there are factors that are to be considered when a boat is -||- this close to sinking. The physics of a paddle wheel is that if it sits too low in the water, all it's doing is "slap'n" water and not doing what it's designed to do.....push the boat foward at a high rate of speed. You know, enough speed for the rudders to work.

I went "engeineering" on Google, but the boat still sits too low in the water. Before someone suggests I add foam to the inside, all that will do is add a little more weight to the hull. But that idea gave me an idea. Add some flat styrofoam to the outside....now that's gonna look like hell. So....I went to the slabs trash dump ground....not maintained by the County, and pick me up some scrap styrofoam. After 3 trys....driving to the animal water hole, I was back to square one. Then I said..."what the hell, put a BIG piece on the bottom". What I cut, formed to the contours of the bottom, filed and sanded till I had a perfect fit. Fingers crossed, this will be enough flotation to raise the back end 1/2 inch. Will let ya know after one more drive to the animal water hole. "My God Billy Bob, ya ain't gonna put that big chunk of stuff on the bottom are ya"???
Any suggestions????

Ok...just got back from the animal water hole. It floats.

I think my dog has a mental disorder. Today she picked up an old bone, no tell'n where it came from, tossed it up in the air. Is she actually gonna play? It come down on top her head and she yelp'ed like she done got run'ed over or something like that. Then went and laid down.

Ok....back to that boat build'n business. That piece of styrofoam what I made yesterday bit the dust. I were gonna paint it up pretty like....you know what I mean. Ya know what happens when ya spray paint on stryofoam? It just goes away...shrivils up and it's gone. So off to the junk yard again search'n for a nice piece of stryofoam. Fount one that was perfect....but too thick. Would you beleive I cut that sucker to the exact thickness I needed with a "chain saw" (hack saw blade)?
See, I tole ya so.

Ben's statement in the comments are so true. This is a "static" model of a Mississippi riverboat. Never intended to set foot in water. Just sit on a shelf collect'n dust and cob webs. That was until old Billy Bob got hold of it. Some things are naturally intended to be changed....and this is one of them.

Monday, January 10, 2011

What ya mean...sunk???

Well, of news for the day, the Mississippi riverboat did not sink. But I had my wonders.

Ya see; it's like this. I throwed the boat in the back of "that jeep" and headed off to the animal water'n hole. I look at the grade of that road what led down to the waters edge and says..."ya think this old jeep gonna climb that hill com'n out there"? Well it did. Spined the tires a little, but you knows I like that......burn sum rubber.

 I guess you can see that "da boat" is sit'n a little low in the back end and too high in the front. But I bet ya a buck old Billy Bob gonna figger out a way to fix that. By the way, the above photo is supposed to be a video. What ya gotta do Billy Bob when ya gonna take a video is turn that little knob thingy to "movie" not "shakie hands". Sheesh.....don't ya know nuttin???

When I got back to camp I got to think'n....move the motor foward. So's I breaks out my chain saw and cut a wall slap out the way. This where the new motor location gonna be. It's 4 inches further foward of where I put it first time, so this will move the balance point with it. But that still ain'n gonna be enough. Gonna have to add weight to the front end. Like another battery (battery box was built for 2 batteries) or something like that.

My mechanic came by today to reinstall the front drive shaft on "that jeep". Well the sucker won't fit no more after I took off the freak'n lift kit. The splines what is supposed to be adjustable won't move. The old grease is hard as nails. So here what I'm gonna do.....break out that big ol' torch and burn that grease slap out there. Then gonna swak it with a big ol' hammer a couple three times. It's gonna move....Billy Bob don't give up.

See what I was tole you??? Motor is installed. By the way...that's a Billy Bob homemade pulley ya look'n at in the last photo. I make stuff ya know. When I reinstall the missing wall, you'ld never know there was a 250 hp motor behind there.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Broke down

I'm broke down at the slabs. Not "that jeep" or "Sally da house", but old Billy Bob.

Ya see, it's like this.....I was brag'n the other day bout how good I been feel'n and that my back ain't been hurt'n like it usually do. Then I woke up the next morn'n with one the worstest back aches I had in a couple years. Somehows I musta turn or bend over the wrong way. I know I didn't pick nuttin up what was to heavy. Anyhows, I been on the couch and the floor for the last 2 days. This morn'n it was much better.

While I'm wait'n on a can of Campbells Mmmmm Mmmmm good cream of mushroom soup thought I would see what I can write about.

This pic is for old Uncle Ben. We was talk'n bout targets out here on the bomb'n and shoot'n range. This was the best I could do for a pic of what I think is what them machine guns shoot at. Look like a bunch of rocks, but how the hell did they get them out there? That's about 4 or 5 mile from the slabs on full zoom.

Fount a water hole to try the Mississippi Riverboat in. It got all kind of signs say'n no trespass'n and all that, but old Billy Bob ain't skeered. I'll attempt to make a short video of the test run....along with a few pics. That is if'n I don't forget to take the camera with me. Git'n all excitis here ya knows.

My mechanic is gonna put the front drive line back in "that jeep" and replace the other universal joint in the back drive line. Probably tomorrow.That is if'n I don't go play a round of golf ball swak'n. Don't need no 4 wheel drive to go to the golf course.....ya know.

Not that anyone really cares....but I sure is wonderful weather here in southern California. Down to maybe 45 degs at night and georgious 70's during the day. Eat yer hearts out America!!!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Work'n on "da boat"

While I'm sit'n here with nuttin to do....................

Well, it's been a long week....today IS Saturday right??? Ain't got much done 'cause I been too freak'n busy. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to be retired and have to work every day just to surrive every day life. I think the Government should issue each retiree, such as myself, with a full time maid, yardman, mechanic and maintenance man. That would make my life so much easier and endurable.

I had promised my dear friend, Old Uncle Ben, that I would take some before and after pics.....but I plumb forget. Ya see, it's like this.....I was work'n on that Mississippi riverboat when I noticed some cracks on the bottom. What the hell, where them come from? So I started fix'n 'em....you know...sand'n and all that stuff. Then I masked off the rest ot the boat, took it outside and sprayed a couple coats of epoxy enamal on it. Hmmmmm.....there's them damn cracks again. So's I mess with them cracks......boy howdy Billy Bob, ya done did it now.

Oh yeah....forgot to tell ya.....I installed the motor, rudders and controls in the boat before I foun't them cracks. All I need to do now is take the radio gear and battery out of the rc car and put in "da boat". It'gonna work just fine. All I gotta do is find some water to test it in. Now where ya gonna find water in the desert???

The next day....after I thought the epoxy paint had dried, I commenced to sand the places I messed up. Nope, epoxy paint ain't dry yet......more mess up. Then I says...."what the hell...paint the automotive over the epoxy (for the correct color) and be done with it. I grabs the can of spray and push that button. Oh Oh.....did ya read the instructions Billy Bob? Well hell no I didn't read the freak'n instructions. It was laquor....not enamal....and everyone know what happen when ya spray laquor paint over undry other paint. It ripples....like my body...full of wrinkles. To make a long story short....I wiped that crap off and sprayed one more coat of epoxy. Boy howdy....glad that's over. Now I have a two tone white Mississippi riverboat....with wrinkles on the bottom..........grrrrrrrr.

My mechanic came by yesterday and drove off in "that jeep". He gonna change the water pump what was leak'n. Shoot....it took him 3 hours to do it. What the hell??? Today, he is supposed to come by and change oil in that great big engine in "Sally da house" and the Onan generator. Wonder how much that gonna cost me. But it don't make no matter...I got so much money I could grow a tree. At least that what everyone thinks.

Weather at "da slabs" has been almost perfect, even with the cold front that come through. Lower 40's at night and upper 60's during the day. What ya think bout that ya cold weather yankees? 

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year

"What you talk'n bout Billy Bob....happy new year"????

So freak'n what I ain't updated here in a while? Ya see, it's like this, I ain't been feel'n like writing any thing.
Ain't nuttin go'n on at the slabs to write about. I ain't been do'n nuttin exciting to write about. Sadie is just lay'n round so there ain't nuttin to write about her. So what do I write about?

Well....I made a couple trips to town....Walmart ya know. Stopped off at the auto parts store to order a new water pump for "that jeep. Well shoot, they had one in stock. Dropped off my meds prescriptions and wouldn't ya know it, they had to send a fax to Dr. Frunkinsteen back in Deming before I could get them. But....that was last year. This is a new year....2011...can ya believe it.

When I was much younger....like maybe 10 or 12, I used to think...."you gonna be dead by the time you're 60". When I was 10 or 12 year old, 60 was ancient...all wrinkle up and lay'n in a death bed. Now that I'm way past that age, I'm count'n my lucky stars, bless'ns and all that stuff. Maybe I ain't gonna die after all.

It were cold last night when I headed to the campfire. Everyone was sit'n up close with blankets and stuff wrapped round them. I digs in my pocket and pulls out a hand full of firecrackers....boy howdy. But what I really wanted to do was shoot that big ol' .357 magnum....straight up in the air. But I didn't. Someone said the sherriff was cruis'n round and I sure didn't want to go to jail for shoot'n guns. Although I could have gone to jail for the fireworks I was "pop'n" off. Ya see, California has rules and regulations. It's illegal to bring fireworks into the State. You have to buy California certified fireworks in California. You get them at the local fire departments.

Anyhows, someone set off some kind of a bonfire. It brighted up the whole place for miles. I'm think'n it was magnesium or something like that. Burned 15 minutes or more. After I watched it for a while, I couldn't see nuttin....except for a little fire when I closed my eyes. Took 30 minutes for that fire to burn out before I could see anything. Damn!!!

Spent a bunch of ilde hours work'n on the boat, hunt'n parts, call'n hobby shops and all that. Oh yeah....that freak'n dog what was chas'n the remote control car stepped right in the middle of it. Broke it. That dog meant business. Maybe, just maybe, I got a spare part for it.

Got me a whole chicken in a pot in the solar oven. Gonna brew me up a big pot of chicken soup. That will last a week or so. Ummmm Ummmmm....that gonna be good.

Struck me a gold mine yesterday. I was out look'n for a place to fly my airplane and I fount this table full of books. Hmmmmm.....wonder if there any old westerns on that table. Boy Howdy, let me tell ya.....it weren't nuttin but westerns. They was 3 for a buck so I pick out 12 and paid my $4 in the little plastic jug sit'n there. Read so many them cowboy books I broke out my cowboy hat. Now I are a cowboy.....yee haa!!! Git yer hands up ya big gallute fore I put a hole in ya right tween yer eyes.

Well shoot.....now I got stuff to do.