Monday, February 28, 2011

Cowboys and Indians

Ok......here I am, now what???

Got up way late again this morn'n. Wernt my fault though, I was sleep'n. Did I ever tell ya bout this old lawm clock I got? Think I bought it when I was still living on the boat. That would be bout 13 year ago. Well, the damn thing waits till I go to bed and then it starts mak'n this god awful clunk clunk noise....really loud. What keeps me awake till I get pissed. Then I bangs it against the wall a few times and it shuts up for a while.....just long enough for me to get almost asleep. And then it starts up again.....what the hell? Now ya might ask me why I would even have an alarm clock. Well how the hell ya think I'm gonna wake up at 5am to go play a round of golf at 7am if I don't have an alarm clock?

But that ain't nuttin like the clock I have hang'n on the wall. Ya see, it's like this....when I bought "Sally da house" there was this clock hang'n on the wall. Purty thing too. But the damn thing wouldn't keep time. So after a couple three years of this, I throwed it in the dumpster and bought me a brand spank'n new clock. Well it don't keep time neither. With a new battery in it, it will work just fine....for a week. Then it don't keep time no more. Are all clocks made in China???

Went up to the book sell'n place and bought me up 42 more western books. Boy howdy....that gonna last me a couple weeks for sure. Bet ya a buck I got over 150 books now....with only 42 not read. That why my blankets was in such a mess this morn'n. I was chas'n outlaws and run'n from Indians. Good thing that .357 was out of reach or I would be fix'n bullet holes in the walls and ceiling. I was a cowboy sum-a-gun last night.

I really do appreciate all the comments from yesterday. Ya touch my heart. Oh, now ya think I'm gonna cry.....LOLOLOL, right, old Billy Bob cry.....LOLOLOLOL. I'm so hard I ain't cried in a hunert years....I just got some blow sand in my eyes. But I do feel better.....not that I'm gonna do anything bout it. Was especially touched by Nicks comment. Thanks Nick.

Ok I done said enough for one day. See ya laters.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Hang'n out at the dump

Boy howdy, where ya all been? Ain't seen ya in a while. I were sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n a cup expect'n to have a few visitors, but nobody showed up. Still too cold huh?

Old Billy Bob ain't been do'n a damn thing. Just sit'n around. But that don't mean me mind has quit work'n. I rekon most old folks have times like this. At least most I've known have. Why I remember a time when I lived on the boat I decided I was gonna be a hermit and talk to nobody for a month. Not even go to the Island Cafe for my afternoon BS session and coffee. Locked the hatch on the boat and disconnected the phone. I was in hog heaven. Or so I thought.

I was sit'n round think'n back on my life and I guess I've been a loner most of it. Did things by myself. Stayed away from crowds. Did that up till just a few years ago. That's a long time ya know. Then one day, while sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n, I figgered something was missing in my life. I went to a RV'ers GTG. That's a get together with folks ya ain't never met. Then I went to another the next year. Met a bunch of fine folks and started mingling with the crowd. That's how I started coming to the slabs for the winter. This is my 3rd year ya know. Even went out of my way to visit a few internet friends. Some went out of their way to meet old Billy Bob. Life is good.

But lately, I've been down in the dumps. No, not look'n for aluminum cans. Just hang'n out. Old uncle Ben has been try'n his damnest to to pull me out of this slump and get me back "on the road again". Poor old guy don't know who he's mess'n with does he? Don't give up Ben. It ain't like I done forgot everyone....I'm just in a slump.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....this has to do with tires.....I was on my way from San Antonio to Port Aransas to see the "chickibabies" on the beach. It was a Sunday morning when I loaded up "Alice" (my first motorhome) and headed south. Had a full tank of petro and not a care in the world. And then it happened. KA BOOOM....what the hell was that??? I pull off the interstate (I-37) and go look at the tires. Holy shit, I done blowed one all to hell. It was a back tire, so I still had one with air in it still on the ground. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob. There's a truck stop just up the road a piece...go get it changed. Well, when I got there, driv'n 25 mile a hour, I finally get there and everything was closed what had to do with fix'n tires. Well shoot!!! On down the road a piece there's another truck stop. Everything was closed. By the time I found a place to change the old eat up busted tire I had done drove almost 70 miles....and then the damn spare was a different size. The moral of this story is NEVER go anywhere on a Sunday....everything is closed. Oh...and good tires too.

Been hav'n internet problems again. Seem like every time I get on line and get all excited with what I'm do'n, the damn thing loses signal. Just like that....poooof, it's gone. Ya don't rekon Verizon is get'n their signal from Houghes Net do ya??? But I can't complain too much. When I was a kid I didn't have a signal at all.

Well, I'm out of here. Enjoyed the visit. See ya next time.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Oh Oh....change of plan

Well shoot, got to make some change in plans. Ya see, it's like this...."da pond" has been undergoing some changes. Drastic changes. They went in there with back hoes, bull dozers and land mines. Ripped out all the vegetation along the banks and moved all the camp'n sites back 25 feets away from the waters edge. Now where do they expect the fish to live? All the little fishes are gone and the big fishes is skeered to death. They ruined my "da pond".

So...."what ya gonna do now Billy Bob"??? It looks like I gonna have to go sit on "da porch" tomorrow, sip a cup and do some serious think'n. I could go to Quartzite, but I really don't wanna. Been there and done that. Looks like I may be spending a little more time at the slabs.

Got my mail yesterday and when I opened my bank statement.....Holy Cows, I'm a thousandaire. Now what I gonna spend it on?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bad to the bone

Well shoot, things ain't look'n too good at Billy Bob's house. There's a sink full of dishes wait'n to be washed, the floors need to be vacuumed, trash needs to go to town, Sadie needs a haircut and old Billy Bob just sits there with a finger stuck up his nose. It's bad folks. And what the hell am I gonna do with this big box of books that I read? Tote them around for the rest of my life??? Sheesh....Billy Bob is in trouble.

When I say things are look'n bad, they really ain't all that bad at all. I bet ya a buck I could get all that stuff done in one day and still have time left over. But I probably ain't gonna do it. Ya see it's like this. Old Billy Bob is tired. Not from all the hard work he been do'n, but tired from "do'n nuttin". I need to pack up and get "out of Dodge". Been here long enough. Kinda miss the "old Billy Bob" and his funny post he used to make every day.

I thought seriously bout head'n back to Deming to see "pesky neighbor Wayne", but damn, it's still too cold back there for me. When I say cold, I ain't talk'n bout no day time temps....I'm talk'n bout night time temps. Ya see, I turn all my heat off when I go to bed....what ever time that is, and by morning, it gets a little nippy in here. Goose bumps and stuff like that.

Don't know what it is but my fingers don't work like they used to. Drop stuff all the time. I realize I ain't get'n no younger, but all this stuff with my fingers been coming on strong for the last 6 months....get worster every day. Like last night I was cook'n up something to eat. Took the salt shaker to "season" my food and ended up with the whole shaker float'n on top my dinner. Pick up a spoon to stir my coffee and pooof....it were gone....just like that. Damn fingers!!!

Now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob???

Saturday, February 12, 2011

New day....hot

Boy howdy let me tell ya.......it's hot out there. And that where I been all day all day. Work'n on stuff.

Ya see, it's like this....I was plan'n on a laid back day of "do'n nuttin" but all hell broke loose. My batteries were almost dead. I think I mentioned something bout the batteries and solar system needed a look see and that what I been do'n all day. Went up on the roof and raised the solar panels up in the suns rays....think'n that may be why the batteries were low.

Maybe I need to explain myself before I get into details. Ya see, I went to town last week in "Sally da house"....a few days ago for water, propane and gasoline. Before I left to town, I had lowered the solar panels. Everything was work'n just fine. But then after I come back home I started noticing the batteries were going down during the night. What the hell, that never happen before. So that's been the project for the day.....find out why.

Cleaned all the battery connections whether they needed it or not. That fixed nuttin. So it must be the solar panels.....so I thought. After raising them....that fixed nuttin. So....I cranked up the Onan generator and hook up the 40 amp charger.....hmmmmmm, charg'n 35 amps. That means the batteries are low.....but why? Anyhows, I cranked the other generator and hook the 40 amp charger to that one. Gonna charge them batteries till they won't charge no more. Then......

Let me tell ya bout a golf game what went bad. Ya see, the golf course is right bout 20 mile down the road and I been there before. The guy says to me...."ya got a tee time"? I says...."well hell no, I'm Billy Bob...don't need no stink'n tee time". He says...."yeah ya do...unless your playing in the tournament tomorrow (today)". Well shoot, why didn't they call me and tell me this before I drove all that ways? Maybe next week.

Have ya ever see a boat car? I was gonna build one of these years ago but had too many other projects going.... I didn't have time.

Ain't no use tell'n ya how hot it is at the slabs, but I gonna anyhows. In the sunshine it's 92 degs. Cord'n to the weather thingy it's only 72 degs. (they lie ya know). You choose to your own liking....but it's "hot".

Well, I need a nap or something like that. Been work'n way too hard for a retired old fart. See ya laters. 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Use it or lose it

Boy howdy let me tell ya. That old saying "use it of lose it" sure is turning out to be true.

I been a few times sit down to make a blog post but that was as far as I got....sit down. I rekon "sit down" is something a person will never lose as long as he practices it every day. But the problem with sit'n down when ya should be stand'n up is ya just don't wanna get up no more. That could be bad for ya....ya know what I mean?

Well, old Billy Bob he been sit'n too long for the last few months....probably think'n bout what he would be doing if he was stand'n up. But then....when I get to read'n all these blog thingys, I ain't the only one "sit'n down". But then....there's the blogs where some guy is doing all the stuff I'm sit'n here think'n bout doing. Makes me so mad I just want to pack up and go where they at....do something, swak a golf ball, catch a fish, walk a mile....LOLOLOLOL....right, ride a bike....anything....get off my ass and do something. I can't blame it on the cold winter weather since I ain't seen none in sooo long.

Well old Billy Bob is get'n old. He don't do all that stuff no more. So here what I gonna do. I'm gonna brew me up a pot, go sit outside, sip a cup and do some think'n. I think I been at the "slabs" long enough to last another year. Gotta go somewhere. Do something. Stand up and walk like a man.

I just about give up on going to Yuma and catch'n a freezer full of fish. Although....I like fish and they are free for the taking. Remember all the rainbow trout I caught last year? Damn.....I think I need to go to Yuma.

In the mean time I got to check out my solar power system. Seems like since I let the panels down to the roof, I'm not making enough electricity to last me the day. Something ain't right.....but what the hell else is new? That will be my project for today.

Sure was good to see old Uncle Ben is back home from the hospital. Was get'n to worry bout that old fart. Guess I need to go visit him again and get him back on the right track. How far is Dallas from the slabs? Speak'n of Dallas, I wonder if old Dizzy still has any them big ol' bass in his pond?

Talked to old pesky neighbor Wayne a few days ago. Poor old feller is freez'n his butt off in Deming. Says it's so cold there that the golf ball swak'n place still has ice on the greens. That's not good.

Ok.....my mind is work'n up to a game of golf this morning. Should I or shouldn't I? Hmmmmmm....will let ya know what happened.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

No blackouts here

Let me see here, it's saturday morning, sun shining, a slight breeze out of the south, a couple sissy clouds and will probably warm up to 60 degs. before 9 am. I feel a little guilty sitting outside soak'n up the sun, sip'n on a cup, listening to surround sound Billy Bob kind of tunes and think'n.

Speak'n of tunes. Everyone knows old Billy Bob like to crank up the volume on the tunes and rattle the neighbors windows. I like it loud. Well, I went off to Walmart and bought me up another surround sound system what I was think'n would do the trick. Ha!!! All I did was deposit another $80 in Walmarts future retirement funds. After I gets the box all tore open and stuff lay'n all over the floor, I says...."this ain't what I want". "Jesus Billy Bob, Go to Best Buy, pay your $300 and get what ya want....sheesh!!!" If I ever get a system like I used to have, I promise I'll go go through every little town in Texas at 4 am vibrat'n every window in town.

Seems like some ya think old Billy Bob is still sick. Well he ain't. I was over that sick in less than 4 days. Maybe I should say 5 days, cause all I did was lay around read'n books and "do'n nuttin".  Damn it, I done tole you a long time ago.....take your vitamin "C". Ya ain't gonna get sick from them....ya gonna get well. But....since this was my first "flu" sick in like 20 years, there has been a few drawbacks or what ever. Still have a few coughs....probably from them nasty smokes and food tastes just like Texas Longhorn cow poop. My coffee even tastes funny and you know old Billy Bob likes his coffee.

Talk'n bout cold weather. Even the slabs got a good taste of it a few days ago. I think it got down to bout 32 degs one night and I thought I was gonna freeze to death. As I recall, the same thing happened last year bout this time. The entire US was snowed in, blizzards, ice storms, government shut down and even out presidents lips turned blue. But old Billy Bob just sits out here in the middle of nowhere with out a care in the world....soak'n up rays, sip'n a cup and think'n.

Yanked all that crap off the bottom of the boat that I spend a week building. The way I figger it, I done did what I said I was gonna do. Converted a Mississippi riverboat to remote control and it worked.

Talked to pesky neighbor Wayne yesterday night. Poor guy is freez'n over there in Deming. Below zero is not my choice of a place to spend the winter. Speak'n of "spend'n".....where the hell is old Billy Bob gonna be spend'n this summer? By the time it warms up in Deming, it will be hot in south Texas....or get'n close to hot. Find'n a place where an old man can just lay back and enjoy hisself seems to get harder each year. It's either too freak'n hot, too cold or too far to walk.