Friday, August 31, 2012

A little history

I were 12 ( corrected to 11 years, 1952) years old. Lived with grandpa in St louis, Mo. Dad was gone an' I was alone, just graduated from what I thought was the last day I would ever go to school again. I wore ragged clothes, my shoes had holes in them. I slept in a room what was once part of a grocery store, junk was piled to the ceilings.

But I was a happy boy, never want for anything. I knew no difference of good or bad, clean or dirty. There was always food on the table, whether it was a can of warmed up Campbells Chicken Noodle soup, or a couple slices of bread with peanut butter. Somehow milk was always available. I rode an old antique bicycle with hard rubber tires, the brakes did not work. Yes, 1952 was hard on a little boy from a broken home, unwanted and thrown away.

Uncle Luke flew in from California to collect my ailing grandfather and a wayward little boy. We headed west on Route 66 in grandpa's 1950 Nash "upsidedown bath tub". You remember those don't ya? My first sight of desert was seen at night....I was excited. We made a detour somewheres along the way to the "ranches" just south of Deming, NM. This is where grandpa and great grandpa homesteaded 320 acres of desert land....to make a home and raise a family. I still visit the "ranches" from time to time, look'n through the eye of history of my early family that chose the desert as their home. 

By the time I finished another year of school in Ca., my dad was located in Palisades, Idaho, building the Palisades dam on the mighty Snake River. I spent many enjoyable moments on the banks of that river....throw'n rocks an' stuff ya know. With a cold winter com'n on, we moved to Las Vegas, once more I was in the desert. I learned that I loved the desert, with all the high mountains, silly look'n little trees and prickly bushes called cactus.

Dad is gone again. I'm left alone to live with the parents of his last wife Dianne in Twenty Nine Palms, Ca. It was an exciting life living in the desert, right next to a old dry lake bed where Indians once made their camps. An old abandoned gold stamp mill stood near by, an excellent place to climb and do what a boy does.

To be continued......

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Busted battery......

Ok, so here's the deal. I were look'n at the front of "that jeep". What the hell is that stuff on it? I rubs my finger over the fender and bumper.....hmmmm, smell just like battery acid. So's I go investigating. One of my house batteries is got a hole in it. Leaked out the acid while go'n down the road a hunnert mile a hour and it go back there and get all over "that jeep". It appears, after a wash job, that the paint has not been damaged.
"See Billy Bob, I tole ya a long time ago to secure the batteries so they don't jump all over the place an' poke a hole in one". Yeah, yeah, yeah....I hear ya.

Now comes the decision. If'n ya know anything bout batteries, ya don't mix 1 new with 3 old ones. Batteries are $107 each here in Deming, so that would mean another $428 plus tax for a complete set. Or I could just replace the broke one and suffer buying a new set "down the road a piece" in bout 2 more years. Damn, decisions decisions decisions.

Another decision I have to make is what to do with this beautiful brand spank'n new floor in "da house". The few days I have been in west Texas and Deming, I have tracked in bout a gallon bucket of desert sand. No wait...it were Sadie Mae what did it. I'm think'n cover the floor in the liv'n/kitchen area with some beautiful brand spank'n new vinyl flooring. I had give some thought to Pergo flooring, what is harder than any steel knowed to man, but that would add more extra weight. I got to do something before I destroy the walnut flooring. A note here to the rv'ers. Never....and I mean never, install a real wood floor in your rig. "that's all I have to say bout that"....GUMP.

Was a mite cold again last night after being 90 degrees all day long yesterday. I mean to tell ya right now, 56 degs is 2 blanket weather. Or it is in Billy Bob's house anyhows. I'm think'n that by the time I leave Deming headed back to Texas, in a month or so, my water lines will be freez'n over night. Been there and done that too many times bout the end of Sept.

Why I remember one time way down in south Texas on a Sept 5th, we received out first blue norther. Temps dropped from mid 80's to lower 40's in less than 2 hours. Ya remember stuff like that when ya ain't got no coat to keep ya warm.

Speak'n of remember'n stuff, do ya remember when I fix that water leak on "that jeep" for the hunnerth time? Ok, now where the hell is the water I put in that little jug under the hood? It were slap empty an' I ain't went no where 'cept the two trips to town. Damn that "that jeep".

Ok, I got things to do.....sounds good don't it? Oh wait, I DO have something to do. Gotta go pick up my meds at Walmart....an' probly spend a hunnert dollar on "stuff" I don't need. I do that ya know. 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Up before the light of day...

Boy howdy, let me tell ya......there just weren't no way I was gonna sleep in this morn'n to the wake up hour. Other than the old "gotta pee" routine, my mind was work'n on other things. Nightmares surrounded me through out the early hours. Nightmares of waiting for endless hours in a line at the local MVD office try'n to locate my missing registration and tags for "that jeep". Try'n to explain why my tags are expired to 20 officers with guns drawn, scream'n "git on the ground"...."show me your hands". And besides all that, I was freez'n cold...shiver'n in my skivvies. It were 56 degs when I roll out of bed at bout 5:45am.

If'n ya ain't never been to the desert southwest, things are different out here. Especially around the Deming area where the wind blows just any time it it takes a hanker'n with no warning. It might blow 30 plus mile a hour or it may blow a gentle 5 mile a hour breeze. Deming NM. is knowed for this ya know. In the desert, you can expect only two seasons a year....winter and summer. Over night the temps can and do drop 40 degs at the drop of a hat. Like they did last night. But it's common occurrence for this to happen year after year.  Spring and fall are the short seasons, bout 2 or 3 weeks each.

Didn't do a damn thing yesterday. Me and old "pesky" sat out there on "da porch" for hours pick'n up on old times, present times and future times. Us old crippled up folks just ain't got much of a future ahead of us. In "pesky's" case, there ain't much left but to just survive every day life, run around the park on his golf cart pester'n neighbors and watch'n TV. In my case, I still got a little kick left in me. Although, kick'n gets a little harder every day.

Whoa boy howdy is that Billy Bob cool or what? To knock that nightmare slap out my mind, I called NM MVD in Santa Fe. Go right to the top dogs....yeah I did. Nice lady tell me she would send out a new/copy of my registration and tag in a day or two. I says, can I just go to the office here in town. She says, yes you can.....what I did. Weren't no big ol' line like what I was suspect'n, only two ahead of me. Out of there in bout 10 minutes. Good to go for another two years.

Then I shot down to Dr. Fronkinsteen to make a appointment. Got the surprise of my life.....tuesday afternoon. Cain't beat that "wit a stik".

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Just a short note....deming nm.

You may have missed my last update last night, 'cause I forgot to publish when I wrote it. I give each an' everone of you permission to go back one day and read. But it weren't nuttin pressing or important.

 I were sit'n out there on "da porch at 7am sip'n up a cup wait'n on old "pesky" to show up. Hot damn it feel good to sit on "da porch" again.

Ok, I ain't gonna take much of your time this morn'n 'cause I got lots to do. Well, maybe I ain't got "lots" to do, but it sure do sound good.

Recap on yesterdays drama over the lady mail person. She called me. Said I have had no mail at all for the last year. Now that doesn't seem possible with the insurance company that sends junk mail every month. Or the doctors reminding me I need another check up. Yes, I should have had "some kind" of mail....so where the hell is it?

Went back today and found the exact day I re-registered "that jeep" online (8-10-12). I should have received it by now if'n they mailed it out in 10 days like the web site said. It's been 18 days today....where the hell is my registration and tags? I have the option to call them or go wait for hours at the MVD here in Deming.

I were all fire up yesterday to "git stuff done", but this morn'n, I ain't much inspired to do anything. Maybe after a nice shower, what I ain't had one in a few days, will re-inspire me to make another trip to town. The most important item on my list is to get my prescriptions refilled for another year. That means I got to sit there an' listen to Dr. Fronkinsteen, my cardiologist, bitch and moan bout "stress test". I already tole him for the last 3 years, I ain't gonna do one until I feel like I need one. I know....wrong decision, but that's the way it is....I'm hard headed. I only hope I can get a appointment with in the month of Sept. I'm out of here in October ya know.

I pretty much make the decision, any more work on "Sally da house" and "that jeep" will be made by outside help. I have one issue with "Sally". Sometimes, not always, the starter will not engage to crank up that big ol' motor. Could it be something as simple as the starter relay.....cheap fix? Or the battery? Or the starter it's self? Always something to 'cause the old Billy Bob undue stress....and a few choice words. And then there's "that jeep". Yesterday was the first time I used the A/C what I replaced the compressor on while in Georgia. It didn't work worth a poop in this hot God forsaken desert. I'm think'n it the orifice tube is partially blocked with that stuff I put in the system a while back. You know, the guaranteed leak fix stuff what didn't work. I can do the orifice replacement myself, but why not help the economy and let someone else do it? Just a thought. 

Monday, August 27, 2012

"da porch" awaits

Ain't nuttin  more to do than drink up another cup of coffee and crank this rig up for the final leg of my journey.

If you're ask'n why I didn't go on to Deming yesterday, well, Billy Bob had a plan. Ya see, I need some propane an' the propane sell'n place is closed on Sunday. What a better day than Monday to fill a propane tank. Right on the way to where old "pesky neighbor" Wayne awaits my arrival. Also right along the way in the local Walmart store where I plan to make a short visit.

I had a rough time not get'n up this morn'n at 5am, and then again at 6am. I were figger'n on sleep'n till bout 8am, but you know how anticipation can control your life. I been up almost two hour. Read all the blogs. Took Sadie Mae out for a brief stroll around the park. Brushed all the tangles out my beautiful blond flow'n hair. I'm ready to roll.

Yesterday night I read a rather sad blog post bout a miss'n dog what been miss'n for quite some time. By this morn'n, that dog has been located. See how amazing internet connections are. Folks, we are talk'n one freak'n day to search, via internet, the entire US for a missing dog and find it safe and sound. All through a blog post. To read these thrilling events, click on RV Sue's blog over there on the right. Go back 1 day to read the beginning of this saga.

Ok, not much to talk bout this morn'n other than it's a beautiful morn'n in New Mexico.
Arrival time 10:30am or there bouts.....
Hot damn Billy Bob, you are in Deming. Pull into the propane sell'n place and filled the propane tank with 25.8 gallons. That should last me most of winter in Falcon Heights, Texas. Renigged on go'n to Walmart.  I still got to check stores in "da house" and make a complete grocery list.

Found out the mail lady has been returning my mail to sender and not putting it in my mail box. Now I have to deal with the post office along with spending half a day at the department of motor vehicles explaining why I have not received my registration and tags by mail. This mail lady is the same one what would leave nasty messages in my box that she could not deliver my mail because the address did not contain NW on it. Here she is, look'n at my mail in her hand, parked right in front of my mail box and she says she can't find me. I call that a "government contract worker power play".

Anyhows, got "Sally da house backed in right next to "da porch", electric hook up and a/c go'n full bore. I was amazed when I first set my eyes on "da porch" after not see'n it for bout a year. Somebody had removed all the junk and trash and sweeped it sparkl'n clean. The weeds in the yard have been kept to a decent level. Cactus garden still look'n good. What a welcome sight.

4:30's pm there bouts...

I were gonna take a nap, but instead decided I would run downtown and try to straighten out some stuff. Went to the post office first thing. The nice supervisor lady tole me I had no mail on hold and that it had all been sent back to senders.  Then I askes her who made the determination to return my mail. She tole me it were that contract mail person nobody likes. Further investigation.....someone told the mail lady I didn't live here no more. Even though this is still my legal NM residence.It were either that gut over there that says I were gonna shoot him, or it were that lady over there that don't like my "tell it like it is".  I'll tell ya more bout all this later as the saga unfolds.

Then I went on down to the motor registration place to attempt to get my registration what I already pair for, what was mailed to me and what returned by the mail lady. If'n ya read that real slow, it makes sense. Trust me. Anyhows, it were 2:15 when I arrived at the NM MVD. They tole me I had to come back another day 'cause they was soooo soooo busy. I take a quick look in the wait'n room....5 people and 3 officials work'n the counters. Musta been real close to break time what ya think. More government hooplaa if'n you was to ask me.

Made a Walmart run. Got everthing what I had on my list except for some pre cooked frozen biscuits. I ain't fir'n up no 400 degrees oven just for one stink'n can of biscuits. Yeah I could freeze some of 'em, but I ain't gonna. To hell with a bunch of biscuits....an' the horse they rode in on. 

Sunday, August 26, 2012

What ever ails ya...

Ok, I been keep'n my lips sealed for the last two days. At the end of a long hard day of travel, my feet and ankles have been swolled up. Couple nights ago it kind of scared me a little....think'n I was gonna have to get my feet amputated or something like that. The next morn'n they was back to normal, so I stopped that kind of think'n. Again last night they was all swolled up. This morn'n they are back to normal.

I had me the most miserable night that I can remember. Bout 10:30pm.....stayed up late so I could sleep late....I lays down on the couch. Gonna go to sleep right now an' sleep till noon tomorrow. I toss an' I turn, cain't get comfortable, ain't no way I gonna go to sleep on the couch. Same thing happen when I go to the bed, toss an' turn all night long. What the hell???? Wonder if'n it could be them .99 cent hot dogs what I bought from Walmart 3 months ago. Yes they was froze. But I did throw out the mayo what was begin'n to smell like rotted aggs.

Todays agenda is to drive the short distance to El Paso. 197 mile cord'n to the highway sign. Then another hair pull'n 35 mile of very cautious driv'n on I-10 to the state line of New Mexico where I gonna park "Sally da house" and spend my last night on the road.

Propane is still hold'n up. I did find a truck and travel center that sold propane. After I turn "da house" around and get all line up to fill the tank, I notice this tiny little sign. "No propane sales on weekends". Grrrrrrrr!!!!

I failed to mention a few days ago, the Mississippi Sternwheeler river boat fell off it's perch. Ya see, I were go'n down the road do'n bout a hunnert mile a hour. A rambunctious, cain't wait, motorist pull slap out in front me on one them on ramps. Not only did I lay on the horn, I were push'n that brake pedal through the floor. Of course I give him one them one finger waves too. Not much damage was done to the boat. One of the smoke stacks is broke off. All the rigging to the loading ramp is a tangle up mess. One life boat took a tumble...got to be glued back on. Not bad for what she went through.
Afternoon update.....
Yeee haa, here I are in New Mexico, right on schedule just like I tole you. Well, no, not exactly, I'm here 2 hours early. I suppose it's time to readjust my watch and clocks to the correct time. This entire trip has been on Georgia time (eastern time zone). So in other words, I shouldn't be here yet.

Here is my new home for rest of the day and tonight.
Now that's what I'm talk'n bout.

Stopped back up the road a piece and got me a big ol' Subway BMT sammich. And a great big chunk of carrot cake what was lay'n on the counter. Hot damn, the old Billy Bob gonna eat good tonight....and breakfast in the morn'n.

Just for Gypsy....an' anybody else what want to read. I set the cruise control on a hunnert mile a hour (60) just before I got to El Paso. Only had to slow "da house" one time. Some lady do'n bout 50 in the fast lane. Traffic was moderate until I got downtown. But I was still in the correct lane....right next to the "blow yer doors off" lane.

First thing I did when I crawl out from behind the wheel was to take my sandals off. Nope, no swell'n. Well, maybe a little bit. I'm think'n sit'n on my ass for 6 or 7 hours is what caused it. What ya think???


Saturday, August 25, 2012

Highway jibber jabber

I were think'n last night...."Ya talk too much Billy Bob". Well I probly do. Seems like my mind don't never wanna take a break an' I got to tell the world all bout what I'm think'n. If it's boring to you, you should take a look see from my side.

Well I pulled the old "couch trick" again last night. Damn I love that couch. Sleep like a new born baby....less the scream'n an' cry'n all night long. But I did wake up rather early this morn'n....5:45, think'n it were 6:45. "Ya got to set your watch Billy Bob....time changes ya know" (still on eastern time zone). Usually at 5:45 in the morn'n, I'm gonna roll over and go back to sleep for a couple more hours. Like what the hell can I do in the dark? I'll never understand why anyone would get up before the sun. Just don't make no sense to me.

I don't need to stop at no stink'n Walmart. Well, I could use a 12 pac of donuts. I still got a half loaf of bread, 2 cans of Spam, a package of cheap hot dogs, enough cans of Campbells soup to feed an army....what the hell do I got to stop at Walmart for. So I ain't gonna. Sadie Mae likes Spam too ya know.

Ok, todays agenda. Right down the road a piece bout 215 miles is another rest area....bout 50 mile from where I-20 ends and I get on I-10. I'm still close to 600 (559 to be exactly) miles from Deming, so 2 more nights in rest areas is on tap. The last being the beautiful New Mexico information center just across the border from Texas. If'n ya ain't never rested there, it's a good'ern, that's for sure.

Did I mention how good it feels to be back in west Texas? Of any part of Texas. But I like west Texas for all the cactus, sand and a mountain here and there. Beautiful country. But Abilene, Texas???? There ain't a damn thing for miles. I took this route for only one reason....it's quick and easy. You can usually find "Sally da house" on some back roads go'n bout half a hunnert mile a hour. Stop'n here an' there, just look'n at stuff.

Been try'n to keep up with answers to comments. If I missed ya, it ain't my fault. Ya see, I got a whole passel of bars on my air card, but the damn thing is slower than a jar of molasses. Took me 10 minutes just to answer MsB's comment from last night.  Damn ipods an' smart phones eat up all the bandwidth. Ain't none left for the Billy Bob.

See ya down the road a piece.
Noon time update:
Well shoot Billy Bob, you sure ain't wast'n no time. I done make it another hunnert mile down the road, even stop an' get me some gas, buy me a couple eat'em ups.....yup, I'm burn'n some highway. 

Ok, so I'm go'n too fast. Not too fast in speed, ya knows I only drive a hunnert mile a hour wither it be 55 mph or 60mph, but too fast in distance. Where I'm sit'n now, I am over, just a tad, by 100 miles. I can live with that. Git out the way, here come the Billy Bob....yee ha!!!

Got a 15 knot wind off the port bow. Swells 10 feet deep mak'n a hard go of keep'n SSMH "Sally da house" on course. But fear not, Capt'n Billy Bob is at the helm. He will guide you safely through raging seas and troubled waters.

It's 140 mile to my next intended camp site for the day. I'm think'n I'm go'n too fast....see above. My only alternative, so's I don't get there too soon, is to lay my ass on the couch and take a nap for a hour or so. Gonna have to crank up the a/c's though....it's freak'n hot out here in west Texas.....102 degs. sit'n to the side the road.
Last update for the day.
Drove right past that rest area where I had reservations for the night. Seems they are get'n "Overhauled", a make over. I were gonna cuss an' give 'em hell until I seen what they was do'n. This is gonna be the "top dog" rest area in the whole State of Texas. Why in west Texas on Interstate 20??? I ain't got a clue. Why???

Anyhows, I'm down the road a piece from there. Over drove my daily allowance by a whole slew of miles. Less than 200 mile from New Mexico. Sit'n out here in what looks like out in the middle of nowheres. Ain't a freak'n tree in sight. It's hotter than hell...both a/c's run'n full bore. Cain't open the door 'cause the wind keeps blow'n it closed. Sadie Mae says...."where the hell is the grass"?  This my friends is west Texas. But I want you lookie over there. Them are mountains. We get'n there little by little.

As of this stop, I have driven a total of 1224 miles, give or take a mile. That should have been 6 days. It's five. So in other words, I drive too fast. Tomorrow morn'n I will attempt to sleep in to at least 9 oclock or something like that. Then sit on my ass for a couple hour drink'n coffee an' eat'n up them snak cakes I bought this morn'n. Pull out of here bout noon time to arrive at my next destination by 4 pm. Of course I got to cruise through Van Horn strut'n my stuff 'cause I didn't pay that ticket. Hope the hell they don't recognize "Sally da house" an' put me in jail. Maybe I better just shoot through there do'n a hunnert mile a hour. 

Friday, August 24, 2012

Rambl'n on....

Boy howdy, the old Billy Bob musta been wore slap out.

After I ate supper last night....a couple peanut butter and strawberry jam sammichs, I lay back on the couch. It weren't no time and I were sound asleep. Never hear a truck, tractor or airplane all night long. I waked up a couple times with a scream'n stomach.....something I ate I betcha. Took my daily dose of meds, looked at the bed back there, look at that couch over there. I chose the couch to finish out a great nights sleep.

Speak'n of strawberry jam, Walmart pisses me off. Ya see, I don't like strawberry jam. I'm a preserves kind of guy....big chunks of strawberry an' not all that slimy jello look'n stuff. Well, Walmart don't sell strawberry preserves in the size container I buy (quart). All they got is that little jar (half pint) what will only make bout 4 sammichs. And the price is ridiculously way to high. We talk'n Smuckers here folks. That other brands just don't cut the mustard when all ya got to eat in the house is peanut butter and jelly sammichs.

I waked up this morn'n think'n...."what the hell am I do'n sit'n in a truck stop in the middle of Texas". It was hot when I arrived yesterday afternoon. Had to crank on both air conditioners. Even at 9pm it was still hot, but there was a little breeze com'n in the door. Blowed right over there on the couch. This morn'n there is cloud cover all over the place....good for go'n down the road a piece.

Decided I would continue my excursion on Interstate highway instead of narrow winding country roads. I'm on a mission ya know. According to miles traveled, I'm right bout half ways to Deming, New Mexico....my destination for the next month or so.

Gonna be get'n close to old "pesky neighbor" Wayne's birthday bout the time I get there...Sept. 5th I think. What the hell do ya give a man what cain't do nuttin no more? With winter com'n up, I'm think'n maybe a big ol' heavy coat to keep him warm. But that's just a thought. He sure as hell don't need no golf balls. Suggestions welcome.

Did I mention I'm bout out of propane? Scared to cook up a meal it's so low. Find'n a propane sell'n place along an interstate is next to impossible. If I run out, there goes my refrigerator and all them wholesome foods I got stored in there is gonna rot.

Ok, I done rambled on long enough this morn'n. May as well get on the road.
See ya down the road a piece.

Just a short note to let everbody know........I slap burn'n up highway.

I'm sit'n here in a rest area bout 40 mile pass Ft Worth. Bout a hunnert ten mile from where I slept last night. Ain't much of a rest area, but what the hell, all I gonna do is rest....right? Eat me up 'nuther one them big ol' Spam sammichs. Yum Yum...hot damn, gotta love cold Spam. Along with a glass of ice cold Alka Seltzer. Been need'n that for the last 2 hour. Next rest area is 94 mile down the road. That would be my 200 miles a day...right? We'll see when I get there. May just drive 300 today since I feel so good and got a early start.

Just for Gypsy, but the rest of ya can read it too. Long bout 20 mile outside Dallas, I put "Sally da house" in overdrive, got in that center lane an' "let 'er eat". Only one time did I get under 55 mile a hour, traffic flow'n smoothly. Weren't nuttin like what you was expect'n. All I could see of the Dallas an' Ft. Worth skylines was off to the north bout 10 miles or so.
This should be the last update for the day. I am tired and disgusted at my freak'n foot. That's the one I was tell'n ya bout that has arthritis or something like that in the big toe. Well the whole damn foot hurts and I ain't go'n on no more today. Simple as that. 

I made it to the first rest area east of Abilene bout 5 miles or so. Got me the damnest camp'n site ya ever did see. I got green grass all over the place for Sadie Mae to roll in. There's a couple mesquite trees for a little shade if'n I want to sit under them. And a great big ol' covered picnic table. Ya see, it pays to call ahead and get yourself a reservation.

It's hot out there....99 degs. and the old Billy Bob gonna be crank'n up the generator here in a bit.  

Well wait a minute, up the road is a Walmart what I been look'n for for the last 3 days. And it's only 5 miles up the road. And then, just a few miles pass Abilene is another rest area. Hmmmmmm....should I or should I not? Come on foot, git feel'n better.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Texas bound....

Holy cows, them truck drivers scare the hell out me last night. Ya see, I were sit'n here enjoy'n watch'n all them experienced truckers back'n into spaces I wouldn't even think bout back'n into. Them guys are good. Then here come this probly a rookie back'n that great big  trailer right at "Sally da house". I jumps up, runs to the dashboard an' start blow'n the horn and flash'n the lights. Boy howdy....that was close. I was think'n how I gonna explain this to the insurance company.

Got up early this morning....think'n it was late. Just been sit'n round do'n nuttin....my favorite past time ya know. Don't rekon I'll be go'n very far today since I'm already ahead of schedule. I done drive 553 mile in 2 days what is a bit over what I normally drive. But that's 'cause of that Grrrrr, grrrrrr, grrrr, cuss cusss cusss rest area what was closed. I'm think'n maybe bout a hunnert fifty miles today, what will put me 30 some odd miles from one my favorite Texas bass fish'n lakes. Lake Tawakoni. Will I take the time to go catch me up a big ol' bass fish? I doubt it. But it would be a fun thing to do. 

Gonna have to find me a Walmart pretty darn quick. Ain't got nuttin to eat....no donuts. Sadie Mae is bout out of dog food. I need another bottle of aspirin. And there's a Walmart just down the road a piece. How bout that?

Ok, this is all for now. Gotta get on the road. Updates later.

Ok....I'm here. Where I don't know. All I know is I am at a rest area or a picnic area.....got it to be a picnic area since there ain't no place to pee an' there ain't no picnic tables. A picnic area should have picnic tables. What ya think?

I were so hungry I had to pull off somewheres and eat me up a sammich. Ya gotta love a couple thick slices of Span on white bread with mayo and mustard. Hot damn!!!

Now, let me tell ya, onest I cross that state line into Texas, everything change. Them highways in Looseanna was all bumpity bumpity for the last hunnert mile. In Texas it's like riding on a sheet of glass. And them trees are shorter so's ya can see what on the other side them. Mostly nuttin.

Oh yeah before I forget....when I hit that 5 mile marker in Looseanna, I laid on the horn so's in case John, what lives in Shreveport, overslept I would wake him up. He probly out catch'n fish though. Anyhows...."My God lady, I weren't blow'n no horn at you, I was blow'n it at John Marshal". That lady not only come flat unglued, she come unplugged......gums jist a flap'n, shak'n fingers at me....an' I'm think'n she done flip me off too. Damn crazy Cajuns!!! But...Cajuns is one my favorite people. Love their music.

Ok, here I are sit'n in a great big ol' truck stop try'n to figger where I gonna go next. That Walmart store what I was gonna stop at ain't there. The old Billy Bob has a knack for sniff'n out Walmart stores, but his sniffer weren't worth a snuff this time. I look all over for that damn store. Finally give it up after I done burn a couple gallon of gas. The only person I knows in the whole state of Texas what would direct me to the Walmart in Canton, would be Bob from Athens.  And he's tak'n a nap.

On down the road a piece bout a hunnert mile is another rest area, just past Ft. Worth/Dallas area. Do I want to travel another hunnert miles today? Well hell no.....but it's hot and noisy here in this old T/A truck stop. Two more hours on the road would do me in for sure.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Mississippi bound

Even though I were feel'n really good bout be'n back on the road yesterday, I stopped at my destination for a good nights rest. I could have gone on for another hunnert mile or so, but "what's the hurry"?

Then it struck me as I sit here think'n....."ya ain't got no television Billy Bob". What the hell am I gonna do for the next 4 hours before bed time? What could be better than to put my hiking boots on and go for a little hike in the rest area. Talk to a few truckers. Walk over to the woods look'n for wild critters.....bears, rattlesnakes, spiders....stuff like that. Ok, that ate up a whole 30 minutes...."now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"?

Got to think'n bout that little cactus garden and doll house. I ain't never build a doll house before, but I did build a VW beetle in the sand on the beach in Port Aransas years ago. Here's what I'm think'n. First off I got to build a water tite container thingy for the cactus garden....it gonna sit over there on that cabinet thingy I bought not long ago. The mini-cactus will come from Walmart if'n they still sell them. A few can be plucked from the desert areas I'll be travel'n in.

In the middle of that cactus garden will sit a homemade Mexican styled adobe house, built out of homemade adobe bricks/blocks. Complete with tar paper and concrete blocks on the roof (maybe). Adobe mixing material can be purchased online, but I'm think'n to pick up a bag full of New Mexico clay and sand off the old family homesteads in Columbus. Kind of make a "special" project. What ya think??? It's either a doll house or a helicopter.

Ok, it's bout time to crank up "Sally da house" an' head 'em up west. Wagons ho....
Look for updates.
Yee Ha, Yippy kie yah....or something like that, got 350 miles behind me.  "Google is your best friend Billy Bob...it's 'Yippee-ki-yay'...sheesh".

Sit'n here in the only other rest area in Mississippi, bout half ways through. It's look'n like I'm gonna have to drive some extra miles today. My destination stop is only down the road bout 75/80 mile. But....did ya know, Looseanna ain't got no rest areas. Oh wait, yeah they do....bout half ways across the state. "Damn Billy Bob, cain't ya read a map"???
Ain't at all tired, but I sure as hell was hungry. And of course I had to walk that damn dog to do her stuff ya know. And what did she do? Sat her butt down right next to mine in the shade of a big ol' oak tree and that was it. Ain't never gonna take that dog for a walk anymores.

Ok....a few minutes lay back time on the couch and head 'em up west. See ya down the road a piece.

7:30pm eastern

Fount me a place "Sally da house" would fit into an' pump some gas into the tank. I were get'n a bit low. Put in 51 gallons @ $3.46.9. That should last me bout a day and a half. Of course that depends on how far I drive a day.

Boy howdy, you shoulda hear the old Billy Bob back up the road. It were GRRRRRRRRRR, grrrrrrrrr, grrrrrr....cuss cuss cuss. Make a sailor take a back seat. Ya see, it were like this, I had make a wise decision to drive on to the next rest area, since it were too early to go to bed an' I weren't tired yet. But, by the time I get to that other rest area, I were wored slap out....couldn't keep my eyes open. At the rest area exit, there was 5 gallon buckets, 55 gallon oil drums, 2x4's and a concrete barricades all over the place....block'n the entrance. I were pissed I betcha a dollar. Then on down the road on the other side was another rest area, go'n the other way ya know, an' that sucker was open......full of trucks and cars. Set the old Billy Bob off all over again.

Now I'm almost in Texas by bout 35 mile. I were gonna go all the way, but fount this big ol' park'n lot behind one them gambl'n establishments. This where I gonna spend the night. Load up the .357, lay back and watch the sun go down.

No I ain't took no damn pictures. Still nuttin but trees and never end'n highway.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Oh Oh Billy Bob

Oh shit.....I ain't go'n nowheres for a bit. Ya see, when I attempted to put the slid out in, it didn't go all the ways in. Hang'n up on somthing on the bottom. Investigation is underway.

Ok, there it are, that piece of trim what holds the gasket sweep thingy under the slide out is stick'n up bout a quarter inches. That what it is I betcha a whole dollar. "Now how ya gonna fix that Billy Bob". Well, I'm think'n I don't want to remove the slide out to fix it, so other means will be applied. What means to do this is still unknown at this time.....what is 11:30am. Oh Oh, here comes Robert with a crow bar and a screw gun. I better supervise.....what ya think? Damn son, be careful what ya do'n. You gonna break something.

Anyhows, I waked up way late this morn'n...didn't feel worth a poop. One eye open and stagger'n round like I were on a drunk or something like that. By the time I got my first mug of coffee down I were feel'n much better....walk'n the line ya know.

So here's the plan. Head 'em up west on I-20 to Alabama where I can stop at the first rest area and empty the black water tank. Go another 200 mile to that rest area 40 mile from Mississippi (love to spell Mississippi) a little south east of Birmingham. The second rest area if'n you're following me on a map. "No, it's the third rest area Billy Bob...the third". Spend the night there. Next night bout 220 mile down the road just past Vicksburg, Mississippi (there's that word again). The on to Shreveport, La.....spend the night just across the border in Texas. Everbody like to spell Texas. Yes....home sweet Texas.

Ok....slide out is almost fix. Gonna get out of here in just a bit and still be on schedule.

See ya down the road a piece.

4:15 down the road a piece...
Well shoot, I have some issues to deal with. The first one was when I crossed into Alabama, the dump station was shut down. Now I gonna be haul'n bout 35 gallons of poop all the ways to Deming. Oh wait, there's two more rest areas in Alabama (like to spell Alabama too). Just finished unload'n a pile of poop in the dump station at the second rest area 45 mile from my destination....the last chance rest area in Alabama. We good to go.

Second issue is these brand spank'n new tires. They look the same as did the Michelin tires, but I'm think'n they ride better. But.....they don't track straight like the Michelins did. I done been off'n the road an' over there in the "go a hunnert mile a hour" lane more than onest.

I swear, there ain't nuttin to see in this country. Ain't nuttin but trees everwheres ya look. Cain't see no rivers, no big ol' mountains....ya cain't see nuttin. I like to see stuff ya know.

Ok, gonna sit here for a while since I'm almost there....rest a bit ya know. Take Sadie Mae for a little walk round the place. So's she can poop or whatever she want to do.

Well here I am. Done took me a nap, walk the damn dog, eat up some bbq ribs and tater salad for supper, got the a/c go'n full bore....yeah, the old Billy Bob is in hog heaven, that for sure. But I did go to sleep back up the road a piece. Had to shake my head like a old rag doll to stay awake. Betcha a buck I go to bed early tonight.  

Monday, August 20, 2012

Preparing to depart Georgia

Just a short note to let ya know....Billy Bob is slow. Be in low gear here this morn'n. Got lots to do.

Well maybe not lots to do, but I got to git off'n my butt and do something. I like sit'n on my butt....it's cool.

Now where am I gonna put all that stuff sit'n on the cabinet thingy in the bedroom....what gonna fall on the floor soon as I make a hard right turn? "My God Billy Bob, ya got 300 books sit'n up there". And I read them all. Why the hell am I keep'n them? Old western paperbacks are like gold, they gonna increase in value. And I could read them again.....ya know.

Been think'n bout start'n a new project. A doll house to sit over there on that cabinet in the living room. 

Sometime this afternoon:
Oh crap....I forgot to finish this post.....this is what ya get today....for now at least.

A little later this afternooon:
I have few minutes to spare while the grankids are off do'n their own thing an' Robert is start'n supper....another Billy Bob recipe.  I calls it Italian chicken....you would love it. I rekon in some circles you could call it Billy Bob chicken conglomeration....or something like that. One pan meal deal ya know.

All that stuff what was gonna fall to the floor on the first right turn is now secure. Ever thing is all load up. Some things I probly won't find again for a year or so. Dishes is all wash an' put in the cabinets. Only had 1 fork left, so it was time.

Granson Nick says to me...."Papaw, the "billy bike" ain't shift'n right again". Turn it upside down and breaks out my tools. That Schimano gear thingy on the back ain't work'n right....stripped threads on the dooflotchie bolt what hold the thingybob together done come loose. "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"? Well shoot, I gonna fix it, that's what. In my assortment of nuts an' bolts I gots the perfect bolt for that. Crank that bolt down so tight I were think'n it were gonna break.

In the mean time, Robert an' Nick change the tubes in both tires. Ain't no sticker burr gonna stop me now. These tubes are hell on wheels. Big ol' thick tubes with green slime in 'em. High dollar too, I betcha a dollar.

I guess I'm all ready to pull out of here in the morn'n head'n west towards Texas....long bout 10am to noon.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Go west young man....go west

Well boy howdy, the old Billy Bob is run slap out of stuff to talk bout. But that's happened in the past and I end up writ'n a book.

Yesterday I got all excitis (excited) bout load'n up the rest of my junk for the 1400 miles trip to Deming. That excitement didn't last very long. I got plumb sick. No not puk'n sick, but BP and energy sick. I said, "what the hell, why ain't I got no energy"? That weren't but bout 30 minutes of run'n back an' forth to the garage tote'n stuff to be deposited in "Sally da house" when I said that. Check my blood pressure and sure enough, it a little high....144/85. Ain't no way to fix that but to take one my pills....what I been conserving for the last month. Conservation don't always pay off ya know. Kind of like conserv'n water in the middle of the desert. Ya don't take no shower till ya smell like a goat. Or ya only wash dishes when ya run out of forks.

Attempted to check the tire pressures on "da house" yesterday. Holy crap, this ain't gonna work. The pressure thingy don't fit....gotta do something. Me and Robert work for bout a hour or so put'n them flexible extension thingys back on the tires. Yes....now I can check the pressure. Will they leak??? Only time will tell.

Still ain't decided how I'm gonna go to Deming. Am I gonna stop off somewheres and smell me some flowers? Or am I gonna go straight through do'n a hunnert mile a hour? I hate hav'n to make these kind of decisions on an empty stomach. But I'm ready either way. Wanna ride along???

Saturday, August 18, 2012

A bucket list

Up early this morn'n. Well, not really early, but earlier than what I been get'n up. Sure will be glad when I can get back on my normal schedule of get up before 7am.

Have ya ever watch the movie "Bucket List"? I were flip'n channels last night bout 11:30pm and start watch'n this movie. It's a must see for anyone walk'n down that last road. It would also be entertaining for the younger generation.

I've often heared people talk bout their bucket lists. Once I say to myself...."what the hell is a bucket list". I were think'n it was something like a list of goals....or something like that. But after watch'n that movie, I got to make me a "bucket list"....and then start scratch'n stuff off the list.

One thing I always been want'n to do is bungee jump. Don't matter if'n it's off'n some high bridge or off a big ol' crane stick'n up in the air a hunnert feets.....I wanna do that. One time a few year back (bout 20), I waited in this long line at a carnival what had come to town. They had a big ol' crane set up an' "holy crap", people was jump'n off that thing. Bounce up and down a few times, get off, grab a beer an' say "did ya see that"? When I finally come to the head of that long line....after wait'n for bout a hour or so, the guy says to me "why ya was wear'n a back brace and on a walker". Hell no they didn't let me jump.....bastards.

Anyhows, the old Billy Bob is gonna do some serious think'n and make himself one them bucket lists. Know'n how my mind works, I'm think'n I'm gonna die from "skeered to death" before I scratch off the first 2 items on the list.

Ok, here's the deal. Today I got to start finishing up with load'n up all my junk. Got the twin grandsons, Tim and Nick, and my son Robert to give me a help'n hand......hee hee hee...."put it over there Tim and Nick". Tuesday is still my planned departure day, so's I only got me 3 days to complete this much dreaded task. Hate put'n stuff back where it goes. Know what I mean??

Friday, August 17, 2012

Beat up...

Have ya ever been slap beat up by a golf course? Well, yesterday the old Billy Bob took a beat'n he ain't gonna forget for a while. Of course my dear son Robert is gonna take every and any advantage he can to whoop his daddy in a round of golf ball swak'n.

Ya see, it's like this.....Robert knows his daddy don't eat no breakfast, and don't eat no lunch till bout 1pm or so. Here he comes right bout 11:30 or so say'n "let's go play golf". I were hungry, weak and wobbly, that what I was. I grabs holt to my my clubs, my bass fish'n hat, pull up my drawers an' off to the golf ball swak'n place we goes. It was hot an' humid (95/95). Did ya know that a golf ball don't go as far in high humidity? Anyhows, by the 9th hole, I were wored slap out....beat up. Heart rate pump'n bout 120 plus strokes a minute, cain't breath worth a darn, an' that damn toe was begin'n to hurt from walk'n up an' down all them hills. Robert is up on me by bout 4 strokes with a great big "I'm gonna beat my daddy today" grin on his face. His over confidence and forget'n his daddy's golf ball swak'n ability, he lost by a good 10 strokes. I work better under pressure. Don't forget that Barney.

Noticed that follower Gypsy done bake herself up a Billy Bob cake. I were so proud of her, but she gots the same problem what I have....cain't eat it all. Sure do wished she would'a posted a pic of it, but it's probly all gone by now.

Got most all my "stuff" put back in "Sally da house" for our trek to Deming....Sadie Mae an' me. Sure didn't know I had that much stuff to load. Still got some to go, so don't be think'n all I have to do is load "billy bike", hook up "that jeep" an' go. It ain't that easy with me tak'n a break ever once in a while an' sit'n on "da porch" sip'n up a cup. I'm rekon another 4 hours to a couple days be bout right. By this time next week, I should be somewheres in the great State of Texas. Maybe even in Deming sip'n up a cup with the old "pesky neighbor" Wayne.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

That boy driv'n a hunnert mile a hour...

Holy crap, Barney is in New Mexico. And in only 2 days of travel. The old Billy Bob woulda take 4 or 5 days to go that far....something like a thousand mile or so. But then Barney ain't one these guys what sit round all day "do'n nuttin".

Damn we got some nice weather way over here in Ga. Well maybe it is. Last night I had to turn the a/c on in the bedroom. That was the last thing I remember do'n until I waked up this morn'n hav'n to drain the water tank.

No I didn't make no cake yesterday. I was gonna, but got to think'n bout how long I gonna have to stand on my feet slav'n over a mix'n bowl. Then clean up the mess I gonna make slop'n that batter all over the kitchen. That cake will have to wait.

Ok, here's the deal. If'n things go as planned, I'll be pull out of here next tuesday.....what means I might get out of here long bout thursday or friday. But what matter does it make what day I leave? Ain't in no hurry.....1000 mile in two days.

Along the way, I am hope'n to find me a couple nice quiet spots to pull off'n the road an' take me a break from all this noise. Like that train track right over there. Bout a hunnert trains blow'n loud horns all hours of the day an' night. Loud ass motorcycles an' cars squeel'n out at the corner stop sign. Freak'n dogs bark'n all night long. Damn!!!

Speak'n of dogs, my son Robert has got a lopsided cat. That what I call him anyhows. I'm think'n he got smacked with a car an' got his brain knock sideways....or something like that. Ya see, his head is cocked off to one side an' he walks sideways in the direction his head is pointed. Sees the world in a different perspective. Lopsided cat that what he are.

Ok, I ain't got nuttin of interset this morn'n so's I'm out of here. Laters.

Oh wait. With all these changes what Google make to Blogger, how the hell do I follow another blog? They done took the follow button away.......help!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Redneck cake mak'n

"Well holy cows Billy Bob, what ya gonna talk bout today"? This is another one them days when I ain't got nuttin on my mind what would considered "writ'n material". I get that way sometimes when I ain't done nuttin excit'n an' stuff like that.

Jump'n Jimmys, did you hear all that rain last night? I mean to tell ya....it rained all the ways up to 8 a-clock this morn'n. And it were a bit nippy last night too. For last 4 days I been sleep'n under a little skinny blanket so's my feets don't get cold. Poor circulation or something like that. Even in the summer time my feet get cold. Had one them doctors, what are so concerned with my well be'n, check the circulation in my legs. Ha, all he did was look at me an' says...."it's fine....for your age". Then he charges my Medicare a bunch of hunnert dollars.

Since I cain't wear regular shoes, in the winter, I sometimes wear me 2 pair of socks. It all started when I lived in that God forsaken State of West Virginia. It were winter, snow all over the place, below '0' degs. My door was froze slap closed on my VW bus an' I need in there right now. So's I rares back an' kick hell slap out that door. Damn that hurted......but the door opened after bout the third or fifth kick. Ever since then, my big toe has got this big ol' lump on it....right there in that joint. And when I put on a pair of regular shoes, not only does my toe hurt, my whole foot hurt, all the way up to my elbow. My entire leg goes numb....little needle thingys an' stuff like that.

Since I mention my toe.....I went to a toe doctor bout 5 year ago for him to fix it. First thing they do is a x-ray of both feets. This here x-ray feller probly ain't never done this before 'cause he didn't know what the hell to do. He gets out this little step ladder thingy an' says....climb up here on the table. HUH???? Anyhows, here I am stand'n on a table....all wobbly an' stuff, he says to me...."get back down and take your shoes off". Why the hell didn't he tell me that fore the the first time I climb up there.....damn!!! Anyhows, the doctor look at them x-rays.....says I got arthritis an' he can fix it. But I gonna be off my feet for 6 months. That's a half a year if'n ya didn't know it. Ain't no way a single travel'n man can do that. He gotta eat an' go to the grocery store, golf'n....stuff like that. I didn't get the surgery 'cause I didn't have nobody what was will'n to wait on me hand an' foot.

Ok, a while back I posted a recipe for my "Billy Bob Cherry Chocolate Cake". Yesterday one the comments, by Marvin, said he tried my recipe. But he didn't say narry a thing bout how it turn out. When I first invented this cake recipe a few year ago, I posted it on one my Yahoo group thingys. Here it is as I posted it (modified slightly to extensively). Mostly extensively.

-------*Billy Bob's hand-made scratch cherry choc. cake*-------
Go to Walmart and buy ya up a cheap $.97 yaller cake mix, or chocolate if'n you a chocolate lover. Surpreme is the bestest, but it gonna costs bout a dime more.
A can of  Comstock cherry pie fill'n stuff. Don't be buy'n no cheap imitation cherry fill'n....we talk'n quality cake here. The real thing.
A can of that chocolate fudge frosting stuff...brand don't make no matter. It all tastes the same....but I go for name brand myself.
And 3 big ol' eggs if'n ya ain't got none at home. Don't be read'n no instruction on the box an' use 1 or 2  eggs....use 3 like I tole ya.
The way I do it. I put all that stuff in a big old stew pot. A big bowl will do the trick if'n ya ain't got no stew pot. Ya might wanna beat hell out them eggs before ya put 'em in the pot with the other stuff. 
Then I mix the hell out all that stuff with a egg flipper thingy. Be extra gentile so's ya don't squish all them cherries into little pieces. Ya don't want that. Just steer it up so's every thing is mixed. A big spoon might work in place of the egg flipper.
Be warned, don't be puttin no water or other liquids in there or you gonna have youself a huge gooey mess what ya might as well throw in the dumpster an' start over.
Ya puts all that mixed up batter in a greased up and floured big ol' rectangle cake pan, pop it in the oven, somewheres bout 350 degs, and walla, you be a bonified cake bak'r just like the old redneck Billy Bob. I leave mine in the cake pan, all cover it up, so's the fly'n critters an' stuff like that don't get into it. Sadie Mae like cherry chocolate cake too.
Then ya lets it cool for bout 10 minutes fore ya put on gobs of that frosting stuff. Use the whole can...calories don't count. If ya wait too long put'n that frost'n on there, it ain't gonna run down the sides and into all the cracks an' stuff. It gotta still be a little bit warm.
Nothing left to do but jump in with a big ol' spoon or fork and eat em up!!! 

I ain't boast'n or nuttin like that, but this is the bestest cake ya ever gonna  wrap yer lips around. And it cheap too. Maybe I make one today.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Never ending to do list

Dag burn it Billy Bob, every time ya git that "to do list" completed, ya turn right around an' add some more stuff to it. Now look what was added to the list.
1. Back up monitor and camera. This may be a toy to some, but it's also a very important tool. "Sally da house" ain't got no back winder to look out of to see what ya gonna run into, or if "that jeep" is still back there go'n a hunnert mile a hour down the road.
2. Replace the flexable air extension thingys on the valve stems on the dual rear wheels. The old ones were bout wored slap out, cracks an' stuff, so's I had longer stems installed when I got the new tires. Check'n air pressure and adding air is now a major task....need them flexable stem extension thingys.

Went off to the Tractor Supply place this morn'n with son Billy. Bought me up a pair of bib overalls...yeah I did. Whether I wear them or not is yet to be seen. Then while I were look'n round, I fount me a new fish'n hat. Guaranteed to catch 14 pounds bass fish in the bright sunshine. I will model these duds and post a pic....maybe today.

I don't know what it is, but I just cain't seem to get off this "old age" kick. I feel like it's bout time for the old Billy Bob to settle down somewheres. But that too ain't no easy task neither. I ain't say'n that I gonna give up on travel'n round the country or nuttin like that. I been do'n that for 10 years. But I ain't got no place I can call home. Property prices are so far out of reach of my financial ability that I may have to give up on that idea too. All I want is bout 2 or 5 acres next to a good bass fish'n lake, golf course right across the street and a Walmart within a couple mile or so. Of course I gonna have to buy me a bulldozer, backhoe an' a dump truck. Would settle for a old beat up Farmall or Ford tractor.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Batteries, converters and toys

Something this morn'n got me to think'n bout all the stuff in my life what I just have to have. We talk'n toys here folks, so don't be get'n all excitis (excited). Anything what amuses or satisfies the male ego in a man is a toy. He ain't gonna be happy until he has that thing in his possession come rain or shine. Gonna rant and rave, bitch and moan "gotta have, gotta have"....make life miserable until it is his. Then he don't want it no more. Let it sit outside in the rain rust'n away....(trucks and cars, big ol' bass boats, motorcycles, hunnert hp lawn tractors, bicycles with no motors). All the other have to haves is stuffed in a closet, basement or out in the garage where the family car is supposed to be parked. The old Billy Bob is guilty of all the above. How bout you??? Women, be strong, stand your ground, he don't need it no matter what he says.

As you are aware from yesterdays post, my batteries were dead. Some ya might say "so what, charge 'em". Well it don't exactly work that way with all batteries. RV "house" batteries are deep cycle batteries, designed to never be discharged below 50% capacity. Unlike a "car" battery (lead acid cranking battery) what can be fully discharged and recharged many times with out damage, a deep cycle battery takes a beat'n each time it is abused in such a fashion.....like what I did to mine. The life span of a well maintained deep cycle battery is from 5 to 8 years. And them suckers cost any wheres from $100 to $300 each. A boondocking rig will usually have 4 6volt deep cycle batteries. Two is a minimum.

Ok, so here's the deal. I ain't the best battery maintainer by no means. But I seldom let the capacity drop below 50%. Yesterdays capacity drop was only noticed 'cause it were dark in here. Solar panels ain't seen no sunshine in days, so the converter (charges the battery bank) must not be working. That was already determined yesterday. So I yank the converter out of it's little cubby hole, drill out the pop rivets and remove the protective cover. Gonna fix it I betcha. Oh Oh.....what the hell, a capacitor is all swelled up and the solder joints are melted. There are no electronic stores in Douglasville, Ga. so's I gotta do something else. Jump in "that jeep" and heads up the road a piece to the RV parts sell'n place. Buy me up a brand spank'n new converter in just bout a minute and goes back to "da house". Install that sucker, a few sparks here an' there.....it work'n fine. I will be keeping the old converter to "fix" when I have nuttin else to do.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Now what....dim lights

Holy crap Charlie Brown, the lights in "da house" are dim. We had just finished supper and a BS session on the back porch. Me and Sadie goes to "da house" for another relax'n even'n of watch'n junk on tv. What's this?? What the hell wrong with the lights? It's dark in here.

I breaks out a trusty flashlight and shines it on the solar charge controller to check the battery voltage. My battery bank is almost dead....11.79 volts. Ok, how comes they dead??? Normally I leave stuff turned on (lights) while I'm hook up to a power cord cause I got a 115 volts converter to keep the batteries charged. Ok, how comes they dead?? A quick inspection inside and outside reveals that the controller is no longer functioning properly. Well shoot, it ain't function'n at all. So's that's my project for today....fix the damn thing.

 Cheap kit made in China...$399. Good kit made in Canada.....$1800.

Have ya ever tried to put a motor on a bicycle? Well, that what I been do'n....but to no avail. I run up against a wall.....cash. Did you know that a "good" electric e-bike motor kit cost as much as I can buy 10 Walmart bicycles for? The cost for a "cheap" China made kit costs almost as much as I can buy a complete e-bike with the same freak'n kit already on it. At Walmart an' Target of course. So now I'm stuck with a bicycle what I have to push up hills, can't buy lower speed gears for it and to motorize it would cost a arm and one used leg. "Damn Billy Bob, you git yerself into some kind of stuff don't ya"? The two wheel motorized saga will continue.

Since I got the registration for "that jeep" took care of, I got to think'n.....why did I do that? If'n I'm go'n to Deming I could have just waited till I got there. Now I got to worry myself plumb sick over the mail lady losing my mail or old "pesky" not check'n my mailbox. I've dealt with both situations more than onest with both of 'em.

Something I rarely do is balance my check book. I don't write more than 4 checks a year unless I'm stuck in some cheap run down Taj Mahal rv park. Thumb'n through 3 months of bank and debit card statements, I figger I done spend way too much money here in Ga. "Sally da house" eat up most of it in repairs, maintenance and modifications. But now I ain't got no extra change lay'n round for the frivolous (gotta have) things to make life fun and adventurous. I gotta pinch some pennies. Expenditures on Georgia trip....$6000 plus or minus. Damn, golf is expensive. 

Ya know what piss me off? Some young 30 years old tell'n me I ain't old. What does a 30 years old know bout old? Aching bones, cain't hear squat, tired all the time, take 2 hours to wake up, cain't sleep at night, get all outta breath just walk'n to the bathroom.....did I mention aching bones. Old age sets in at different ages for different folks. I know some folks what are 50/60 year old, and they are afflicted with more ailments than the old Billy Bob. Then I know old folks 80 year old what run around like little kids with a brand spank'n new toy. It ain't what ya do now what makes ya old, it what ya did when you was young what makes ya old. Well maybe a nagg'n woman, or in a few extreme cases, a man with a beer in his hand say'n "watch this" could make ya age prematurely.

Ok...enough nonsense for one day. Got things to do.....laters.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Holy crap....56???

The first nine holes were a total disaster for old Billy Bob. I were hit'n balls in every direction, hit'n trees, go'n in the woods, skip'n across the water....every direction but the right direction. Robert was chugg'n along at a steady pace at beat'n his daddy. Now for the rest of the story......

After grueling nine holes with a score of 56.....don't be do'n no laugh'n, I were think'n seriously of never play'n golf again for the rest of my life. Nobody hits a 56 in nine holes....not even women. Then I got to think'n bout los'n a round of golf to my son. That would be the end of the world. So's I made some adjustments to my game plan. "Git 'em in the fareway Billy Bob, git 'em in the fareway". Tiger Woods woulda been proud of the Billy Bob....struck me a 43 on the back nine. Although 99 is a terrible score, I were a winner. What more could I want???

Ok, here's the deal, plug wires for "Sally da house". I pretty much decided to replace the OEM wires with them high dollar, high heat wires I were talk'n bout yesterday. I ain't never gonna get my money back, but the comfort of know'n I have quality spark to a brand new set of platinum spark plugs is priceless. Yup, that what I gonna do.

Maybe I be back later.....

Plug wires are on order. "You da man Billy Bob"

Then just for the fun of it, let's try to register "that jeep" online. Well, I want ya take a lookie here..... registration and sticker will be mailed to my address in Deming NM. Cain't beat that with a stik. Now how I gonna talk old "pesky" into sending it to me somewhere's. And where is that somewheres gonna be?

What this gives me is some extra time to do anything I want as long as I don't drive "that jeep" after Aug 31st. Or to put it a different way, not to get caught driv'n it after Aug 31st. "So now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"??? Anything I want I betcha.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Up all night do'n nuttin

I were lay'n there on the couch watch'n some crap on TV and figgered I would go to bed early so's I could get up early this morn'n. Well that worked real well. I toss an' turn till 2:30am and then get up at 6:15. Try to go back to bed, but that didn't work neither. The old Billy Bob done got a ass whoop'n from the sleep troll.

Gonna go off to the golf ball swak'n place here in a bit. Will be leav'n a couple clubs at home....the ones that I can't hit in a straight line. I would rather lose one stroke making a lay up than losing 2 or 3 strokes on a redneck hit in the forest or lake. We gonna be play'n at one my favorite courses, St Andrews....no not the one in Switzerland or where ever. It's a tough course and a score of 95 would be a purty good score for old farts 65 plus.

One more thing what I forgot. Change spark plugs and plug wires on "Sally da house". Ok, I Google plug wires. My God, $185 for a set of plug wires.....ain't no way. "But Billy Bob, these are the best plug wires there is and are recommended by every RV forum on the internet". Bla bla bla.....I hear ya.

Gotta check with my financial adviser this morn'n and see if'n I got any money left. I been spend'n like crazy ya know. Ya see, I have a bunch of accounts and my debit card get's it's money from 2 places, my IRA and my personal bank account. All of which are run'n on fumes.

Speak'n of run'n on fumes, how much does it cost a month to live a decent RV'n lifestyle? I know some folks that live and travel on SS alone and still live decent. Others aren't quit that thrifty, requiring additional funds from their savings, annuities or pensions. Are annuities and pensions the same thing??? Had I not retired from The University of Texas, I would have to tighten my "thrift" belt.

Ok, son Robert is ready to go swak a golf ball....already cry'n bout how hot it is....87 degs.   

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Oh shoot....already???

Dad gum it, I ain't been watch'n what day it is. Did you know that today is Aug. 8th.???? Don't mean much to you, but it do to me 'cause it messes up my schedule. If I actually had one. What I don't.

Well, maybe I do have a schedule....what I don't usually have one. That's kind of like have'n a doctors appointment ain't it. So here's the deal.
1.) I got to be in Deming, NM before the end of the month....registration on "that jeep" ya know and since I'm slap almost out of meds, I rekon a visit with the doctor is in order at the same time.
2.). Visit with the old "pesky neighbor" Wayne for bout a month (till end of Sept.) Swak a few golf balls and sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup an' BS'n.
3.) Head back to Texas Hill Country and beyond for bout a month or so. Look at some property, catch up some fish....wash "bubba boat" in some lake.
4.) Make camp in Sinton, Texas long bout Nov. for a rest and recreation stop at "el Rancho Abraham goat farm and RV park" or there abouts. Maybe a RV park in Rockport with OFM Barney.
5.) Long bout early or late Dec. make camp at the bass fish'n capitol of Texas, Falcon Lake, for the duration of winter.
How's that sound for a schedule.....not a promise???

Schedules are kind like promises, they can be broken at any given moment in time.....or something like that. Do I condone broken promises? Well hell no. That why I don't make none no more. Not intentionally anyhows.

That remind me the time....I were get'n "soused" at one them shrimper bars in Aransas Pass, Texas....hav'n me a good ol' time. Back bout 1969 I rekon. I promise that big ol' barmaid, all of 6 foots tall and a whopp'n 250# all muscle woman, I'm gonna come back saturday afternoon an' take her for a romp'n stomp'n good time at the annual Aransas Pass Shrimporee Shrimp Festival, eat'n up shrimps, drink' beer an' danc'n up a storm.  Come Sunday morn'n I were sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup in Port Aransas, an' up drive my bestest buddy. He says to me....."there a big ol' blond amazon woman in town look'n for ya...say she gonna kick your scrawny ass". Was I skeered? You bet your pay check I were. Hide out for a week inside the house, not show'n my face in public no wheres. That were when I vowed to never make another promise.

Made some more minor adjustments to "billy bike". The adjustments we been mak'n are only "poke an' hope" adjustments until I meet up with Barney down the road a piece. He gonna make that "billy bike" fit Billy Bob like a glove I betcha. What we did was to raise the seat bout 4 inch so's my knees don't hit me in the chest no more and raise the handlebars bout 2 inch so's I don't have to bend over to steer. Still wait'n on a suggestion for a new lower speed crank gear. Where all the bicycle geniuses?

When I were a young just turn teenage bout 14 year old or therebouts, we use to build drag racer bicycles. All the frames were the same size, 26 inches (20 inch frames weren't invented yet what we knowed bout), so modifications were made to what ever we had or what we stoled from the neighbor kid down the street. We didn't have no welders an' stuff like that back then, so everthing we did was "******" rigged. God awful look'n fabrication and modifications, that what they were. Big wheels on the back, little skinny wheels on the front. I knowed all bout gears an' stuff back then. Had boxes of them all different sizes....spare chains an' all kind of parts. Anyhows, every weekend, we would drag race these things.....bout 10 of us kids. Boy howdy, them sure was some good times.   

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

"go cart" on Mars

Well, this morn'n is an attempt to do what I didn't do yesterday. Seems like I'm hav'n more and more of these kind of days.

I'll start off with this "go cart" on Mars. Ok, someone says it's good for cell phones and internet connections. To me, that makes no sense. My first thought when I heard that was, "do they make cell phones on Mars?", being a sarcastic thought. My cell phone don't reach 50 miles, how the hell it gonna get a signal from Mars. Somebody else suggested we could move to Mars if they found bacteria on the bottom of rocks. HUH, bacteria on the bottom of rocks??? Well, I got to think'n bout that. What a hoot it would be to live on mars. I mean it's only a skip an' a hop....something like only 8 months to get there. And no way to get back 'cause there ain't no B/P gas stations there yet. You gonna run slap out of food 'cause there ain't no Walmart. In the first week you gonna shrivel up an' die....simple as that. Everbodys dream come true, to die on some freak'n planet with no food. 

Ok, you think I'm kid'n don't ya? Well last night they had all these programs on TV bout what I just mention. They are serious. We gonna move to Mars. Of course it gonna be a select group of people. No rednecks will be allowed in or around the departure terminal. This knocks out 80% of qualified applicants. Can ya imagine this, some redneck say'n "hey, watch this" and sets off some strange look'n explosive rocks. This select group will consist of high IQ individuals, what have no common sense at all. A few bankers and a whole shit pot full of politicians. New government ya know.

Ok, I'm done with that crap. You get the picture, Billy Bob's tax dollars could be better spent. Like on a freak'n raise on SS....or something like that.

Off to the tire sell'n place again this morn'n. Grandson Tim needs new tires. I had agreed to purchase one tire. Then that one turned into two. Ha, grandpas' foot'n the bill for 4 brand spank'n new big ass tires. That why my grandkids love their papaw. He's easy and got more money than he can spend. That's what they says anyhows.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Gibber gabber thoughts

Now I'm pressed for time. And I don't like it one bit. You would think that once ya hit the retirement age, you can sit back and enjoy life with no press'n issues. But low and behold, life ain't that easy.

"So what the hell you talk'n bout Billy Bob"??? Having to be at a certain place, in a certain State, at a certain time....that what I'm talk'n bout. Registration for "that jeep" expires Aug. 31st. Not being able to register online means I got to be there  in person at the DMV in Deming to renew registration for another 2 years. This causes undue stress what I ain't supposed to have no more, be'n I'm retired an' stuff like that. On top of that, when I have to renew my driver license, it's a trip to south Texas for that....more freak'n stress. Then being pressed for time, in triple digit temps, I'm really stressed. Why don't I register "that jeep" in Texas where "Sally da house" is registered? Well, it's like this...in NM I can register for 2 years unlike Texas for 1 year. And "that jeep" ain't gonna pass Texas' stringent vehicle safety inspection standards.Why did I buy this POS?

Speak'n of safety inspections, "Sally da house" ain't had one in a couple an' a half years. This probly makes me a wanted criminal in the eyes of Texas. Now I got to drive all the ways across the state an' back stress'n out over get'n throwed in jail for 6 month an' fined a gazillion dollar over a stink'n inspection sticker. My house impounded at $30 a day and Sadie Mae put in some hick town communal dog pound somewheres. Ain't right them Texas laws.

Been off to the golf ball swak'n place again. What's with this 97 score ever time I go? I'll tell ya what it is...."ya ain't worth a crap Billy Bob"....that what it is. I were do'n fine up to the last hole, a 180 yards par 3. I can't get there with my trusty 5 wood, so's I pulls out my 3 wood.....gonna get me a par I betcha. Well that 3 wood ain't all it's put up to be. It don't go straight....and I knowed that. See that sand trap over there on the right? Well that where my ball go. I would rather swak a ball out of water than swak one out of sand and I proved it....4 over par on the last hole. A 3 wood is easy to break slap in two if'n ya get pissed and hit it across a tree.

That "billy bike" is still sit'n out there in the yard. Ain't moved a inch. I just sit there look'n at it. But sit'n there look'n at it, I got me a idea to modify it even more than just tak'n the fenders off. Last time I rode it I was think'n if'n I was to move the crank peddle thingy a little forward it gonna be easier to peddle. Here what I'm think'n. Find me a old throwed away bike on the side the road, cut the crank thingy off'n it and weld it to the "billy bike".....bout 4 inch forward of the one what on it now. That would work....right??? Yeah, I like to modify stuff. Can't wait to put a motor on it. Go a hunnert mile a hour ya know.

Friday, August 3, 2012

When to depart

I swear.....this ain't work'n. I'm think'n it's time to hook up "that jeep" and head west.

With that thought in mind, I started check'n the weather in other parts of the country. "Holy Crap......ya better stay in Ga. Billy Bob". It's three digit degrees everywheres I plan to go. With Deming being my first destination, before the end of August, I got to go all the way across Texas. That's over 800 miles of Interstate highway ya know. Damn, Texas is humongous (rather large).

If'n it weren't for this damn "that jeep", I wouldn't have to worry bout what the weather is. I would just stay here till it gets cooler. Ya see, I have it registered in New Mexico, they don't send out notices to reregister by mail and online registration is a complete failure. My only option is to be in Deming before the registration expires Aug 31st. But don't that work out just fine when you gonna visit an old friend?

I was surprised that that last golf swak'n game didn't cause me all kinds of pain and agony. Maybe I need to play more golf. Not that I'm anywheres a good player or nuttin like that, but I sure do like to swak that ball.

Speak'n of play'n, I ain't rode the "billy bike" in almost a week. It just sit out there in the yard right where I left it when it beat hell out me peddl'n back home. "What the hell did ya buy a bike for Billy Bob"? I rekon after while I might jump on it an take me a spin round the block. Only problem, I got to peddle that sucker back to "da house". Legs gonna be wore slap out that for sure.

When grandpa loaded up the family in Columbus, NM to head back to Missouri, he supposedly buried the household furniture and a Harley motorcycle. This was late 1910's to early 1920's. His intentions was to return and retrieve his possessions. That never happened. Have ya ever traipsed round 480 acres in search of buried treasure? My God, what would that old Harley be worth today??? I found the old foundations where the adobe house once stood. Picked up a bunch of broken glass items....glasses, cups, bowls and plates. Got a horseshoe what hangs in "da house" what could be off one of one Pancho Villas horses. Grandpa did blacksmithing ya know, and Pancho Villa visited the ranch quite often. Remember I told ya bout the time Pancho Villa and his banditos pulled the old Model T out the cornfield? Body parts to that old Model T still remain on the property.

Ok....got things to do....laters.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Do I hang up my clubs????

Ok, so I didn't make a post yesterday. I have a good reason. I played a round of golf the day before. It beat the living hell out me, that what it did. Had leg cramps all night long, got bout 4 hours sleep an' I was grouchy as hell when I finally jump out of bed at 9am oclock. Spilled coffee grounds all over the floor and step slap in the dog water bowl. All that before I even knowed what day it were.

Then I hit the couch. Uh huh, the old Billy Bob laid back all day "do'n nuttin".

That golf game the other day was hell. It were 101 degs, humidity right bout 90% or so and my score was a ridiculous 101....same as the temp. I don't never, ever, hit over 100....never. What the hell happen?  Climb'n up and down hills, traisp'n through the woods look'n for my ball, wipe'n sweat out my eyes....it were terrible. I'm bout to hang up them clubs an' never ever swak another golf ball. Well maybe not. Wayne wants to sell me his brand new Callaway clubs he just bought. What ya think???

This morn'n here come Robert munbl'n something bout go'n golf ball swak'n. I had to do some think'n bout that after the terrible day at the golf course the other day and what suffering I went through that night. Well, he done twisted my only good arm I got left an' off we went to the golf course. Hey, I feels pretty good....hit that ball a hunnert mile....that what I did. By the end of the first nine holes, I had accumulated 13 strokes over par. This ain't good ya know. At this rate, I gonna have another terrible score by days end.

Son Robert beat his daddy only one time in his whole life time. That's it, only one time. And that was a few years ago when I was play'n on a walker. Well anyhows, there weren't no way I could let this happen again, so's I took that back nine holes a little more serious. "Concentrate Billy Bob, swak it a hunnert mile". For the course we was play'n, a score of 97 ain't all that bad for retired old farts hit'n from the middle tees. But I did better than that.....95. And beat my sons ass. I plays golf like I do my fish'n....ya catch yer own. I ain't giv'n ya nuttin.

That's it....I ain't got nuttin else to write about.